Praise google, we have finally sorted through all the photos from our trip. I have a friend who went to Morocco this spring and when he came back he mentioned that he had ridden a camel. And I was like, "Nuh-uh! You rode a camel? An actual, real camel? For reals?!" And he said yes, and that he had photos to prove it. So every day I would go to his website, where he posts his photos, eager to see the camel, yearning to see the camel, and...no frickin' camel. No photos at all, in fact. And so every day I would email him and say, "Um, where is THE CAMEL? Dude, you said I could see the camel but by not posting your photos you are making that extremely difficult. I WANNA SEE THE CAMEL." And then after like, TWO WEEKS of me pestering him about the damn camel, he finally posted the pics. Including several of the camel. And, can I just tell you, it was totally worth the wait. But still, I was like, "Dude, you are a complete lazyass for taking TWO WEEKS to post photos from your trip. I mean, what is your problem?!" But now? Yeah, I totally understand.

So, here they are. Well, these are not ALL of the photos from our trip by far. But they're some of my favorites, many of which Rob took. (Sorry, no camels.)

(Click photo to see the London collection.)

(Click photo to see the Paris collection.)

Can I just tell you how surreal it is to go from being in a city full of French-speaking, baguette-carrying, lovely-shoe-wearing people to being in a valley full of shit-producing, moo-emitting, grass-grazing cows? And what's weirder is that the only thing that separates these two very different worlds is one 8-hour, moderately expensive plane ride. Incredible.

Four things I love about the States:

1. Stores and restaurants are almost always open here. It is morally unacceptable for a Starbucks to be closed on a Sunday afternoon. Am I right? It is also a downright sin for restaurants to only be open from noon-2:00 pm and 7:00-10:00 pm. Or for McDonald's to NOT be open at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning, especially when you need food FAST because you have got a plane to catch. Even in Redneck Valley, things open early, close late, and remain open for all of those hours in between. Not the case in Europe. At all. I have so many woeful stories I could tell because of this little cultural difference, but suffice it to say that here in the US of A we are a society not only of excess but of access as well.




2. Say it with me, folks: AIR CONDITIONING. Hardly anything was air conditioned in London or Paris. I knew to expect this, and being September it didn't cramp my style too much. But it did bother me on the metro and on trains and other smallish places. And there were times in the middle of the day when we were HOT and wanted to duck into a restaurant as much for cooling off as for eating, but none of them were air conditioned. That kinda sucked.




3. Free water at restaurants. At our first meal in London, when the waitress asked us what we wanted to drink, we made the mistake of reciting the line we always use here in the States: "We'll start with water." She proceeded to bring out a bottle of fancy (aka expensive) water which was more or less room temperature (that's another thing - rarely are drinks served cold). During the whole trip, we only once dined in a restaurant that provided water to us for free. I'm not really complaining; I just found it an interesting difference considering that where we live complimentary water at restaurants is pretty much expected.




4. Public restrooms that are plentiful and free. There were more public restrooms in London than Paris but, with only a few exceptions, in both cities they were pay toilets. Most stores did not have restrooms, and we even noticed many restaurants (!) that didn't have any restrooms, especially in Paris. Public water fountains were even more difficult to find (but at least they were free - although never cold). I think taking a shit and drinking water are basic human rights and I'm glad I live in a country where I can do these things for free in public places (oh come on, you know what I mean). And that, folks, is about as patriotic as you'll ever see me.

One way cool thing about both cities (perhaps Europe in general, I dunno) is that all posted prices included tax already. Restaurants, street vendors, clothing stores - all of them did this. I've seen this a few times in the States at busy fast food places in cities, but it was the case for every purchase we made on the trip.

Ooh, and another cool thing I noticed in both cities were Smart Cars. They are soooo small! As in, a mini Cooper looks like a frickin' SUV next to these things. They were all over the place in London and Paris.

I became a bit obsessed with these little cars, despite the fact that were I to actually sit in one, I would certainly have an immediate claustrophobia attack much like the one I had while riding in the smallest elevator known to man at our hotel in Paris, in which there was just enough room for Rob, myself, and our two very small suitcases, in which there were two doors, one that automatically opened and one that had to be pushed open and when Rob did not push the manual one open quickly enough I screamed, as only someone who is literally about to black out from the loss of oxygen can, "PUSH IT! HARDER! PUSH IT HARD!", which he did and then deftly stepped into the hallway out of my way as I barrelled out of the elevator gasping for air, heaving for air, and exclaiming, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH. Oh sweet lord!" only to then turn my head and notice that one of the housekeepers was standing there observing the crazy American lady who is either very claustrophobic or just had an incredible orgasm in the elevator, to whom she politely said, "Bonjour!" to which I responded by mumbling "Pwhummum" as I sucked in deep breaths and stumbled, lightheaded, into our room.

I'm resisting the urge to choose a favorite city. I love to name favorites and I absolutely would if it were an easy answer. But Paris and London are so different from each other and also SO different from New York and SO SO different from San Francisco and then if I start comparing those to the other major cities I've been to (Atlanta, DC, Toronto, Mexico City, Madrid, Barcelona) I just get really really confused. (Does Pittsburgh count? Nah, I didn't think so.)

Of those 10, I will say that my top three, in random order, are New York, London, and Paris, with Toronto as a strong #4. I will also tell you that Atlanta and DC and Mexico City sink to the very bottom of the list, although that's likely unfair to Mexico City because I was there on a mission trip and so only saw the worst parts. The other cities are muddled in the middle somewhere. The next city Rob and I would like to visit is Sydney, Australia. It seems like a cool place. Plus, the man at the post office tells me it is his all-time favorite city, so there you go! Plus, how great would it be to see Australia? PLUS, we could go geocaching with Bente! (I know you don't live in Sydney, Bente, but we'd work it out...)

However, there are currently no plans in the works for a trip to Sydney. I am, however, planning my upcoming pilgrimage to the Target of Redneck Valley. Which, did I mention, opens in October? I'm considering camping out in the parking lot so I can be the first person through the doors. Is that weird? Nah, I didn't think so.

Random observations about London:

• The light switches, at least in this hotel, are backwards. Up is off and down is on. And the outlets have on/off switches, too, which is kinda cool.




• Every single sales clerk checks my receipt signature against the one on my credit card. I think I've only had maybe two people ever do that in the States. I appreciate it, though.




• No one knows which side of the sidewalk to walk on. Presumably, since everyone drives on the left, the left would be the side pedestrians cling to as well. But it seems to be pretty much up for grabs. Granted, in New York it is equally up for grabs, but that's because there are so many people and the sidewalks are a squeeze-in-where-you-can free for all. However, in London it seems as if people do try to take sides, but just as many people go right as go left. (For awhile Rob and I assumed everyone going right were Americans, but I no longer actually think this is the case.) In fact, most Tube stations have walkway signs that say "Stay to the right" but I've seen at least two that say "Stay to the left." Fuck it - I've just been going straight down the middle.




• Nannies, nannies everywhere. Last Friday I kept exclaiming to Rob that all the mothers here are so young and so pretty and in such good shape! And today I had a revelation: Uh duh, they're nannies. Actually, many of them may very well be mothers. But today I've definitely seen a number of young women who are caring for children who look very different from them and very different from each other. Nannies!




• There is a bit of a Donny Osmond obsession here. I know, right? Weird. I don't get it. But I've been hearing much gushing about him on tv and I've seen things in the papers about him and GET THIS. I was browsing a Waterstone's bookstore today when I noticed signs announcing that Donny Osmond would be there for a book signing at 1pm. It was 12:30 so I plopped down with a book for half an hour. I have absolutely no interest in Donny Osmond one way or another, but he's famous and stuff so that's cool. (Sarah Jessica Parker was in London at the end of last week promoting a new perfume or something - now why the hell couldn't I have run into her?!) It was funny, too, because when Donny Osmond stepped into the room, the crowd of people waiting for him went "YAY!!!" I'm almost certain that in the States we would have clapped at his arrival. But instead there was this effusive "YAY!!!" (complete with British accent, of course). It was so cute. And actually, so is Donny. Who knew? I was standing directly behind the press photographers and they were acting just like he was on the red carpet. He was sitting at the table signing copies of his book for people, and the photographers kept saying, "Right here, Donny!" "Look up!" "Donny, for the papers - look right here!" It was awesome. Of course, I had my camera in my bag, so I fought my way up onto a bench (no, really) to get a few shots. Most of them turned out blurry because of people knocking into me (these Brits take their Donny Osmond sightings seriously) but here's one that's pretty good.

Remember the scene in Notting Hill in which Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant are at a movie? He couldn't find his glasses and so he's wearing his prescription goggles and she throws popcorn at him and then laughs? Rob and I went to see a movie in that cinema last night. I WAS IN THE VERY BUILDING THAT JULIA ROBERTS WAS ONCE IN, PEOPLE!!!! (Oh right, you don't know this about me - I adore Julia Roberts. As in, if I had to choose between spending a day with John Stamos or Julia Roberts, I would chose Julia. Now, if I had to choose which of them to spend a night with, it would most definitely be John. But I dig The Roberts very very much. I can quote Pretty Woman and nearly every episode of Full House to an equally amazing (albeit disturbing) degree of accuracy.) Anyway, the place is gorgeous. There are two levels of balconies - it felt more like an opera house and quite certainly was a stage theatre in the past. I didn't take my camera with me, but today I got a shot of the outside.

I spent today roaming Oxford Street, Bond Street (fancypants clothing designers), and Regent's Park. As I first came into the park, I passed a bride and groom who were having their pictures taken.

Later, I was sitting on a bench along the Broad Walk in Regent's, reading, when a man wearing a nice jacket and a hat passed by, then stopped, then took a couple steps back toward me. He said, "You have a nice ____." I didn't catch the last word. It wasn't anything obscene - look, maybe? I'm really not sure because I was reading and not paying attention. I looked up at him and he asked, "Are you French?" I shook my head no and sorta smiled. French? I mean, seriously. Then he said, "Well, what parts are you from, then?" I told him I was from the States. He looked completely surprised and then said, "Then how is it you look so continental?" I sorta shrugged and half-smiled again. He asked, "Whereabouts in the States?" I told him, and he said, "But you've got such great teeth." (At first I thought this was a strange thing to say considering that the stereotype is that Brits have bad teeth. But then I thought about the dental hygiene of people in Redneck Valley and figured it was an appropriate comment after all. Heh.) "You ought to work for a Colgate ad or something, you know." I smiled and told him I'd keep that in mind. He took a step away and said, "Do you hear things like this often?" I told him I'd heard it a couple of times and he sorta shook his head, smiled, and turned and walked away. It was bizarre, but it made my day.

I feel like I've really hit my stride now in London and sadly we're leaving. Tomorrow we take the train to Paris...

Oh, that reminds me. (Yes, this post is now WAY long, but Rob is late getting back from work today and neither my feet nor our budget will permit any more shopping so I will entertain myself by blogging. Deal with it.)

On Friday, a woman stopped Rob and I on the street and asked, with a British accent, "Are you English?" I told her no, and she asked, "Would you take a picture of us?" and gestured to the man who was with her. We did. As we walked away I said to Rob, "Why did she ask us if we were English? Why did that matter?" He responded that she hadn't said English; she had said engaged. "WHY would she have said engaged?" I asked. "That makes even less sense than English." So then we tossed back and forth a whole host of creative theories, utterly perplexed at what sort of discrimination this lady had been pursuing. And then all of a sudden Rob exclaimed, "She meant ENGAGED! As in, Are you BUSY?" We burst out laughing at our complete inability to understand English, the language that we speak. And then I turned to him and said, "We are so fucked in France."

(Speaking of being a complete idiot, what do you think a Beetroot and Bleu Cheese pizza would have on it? Because I was devastatingly disappointed this weekend when said pizza was brought to my table and it was covered in BEETS. BEETS! I assumed beetroot was like an herb or something. Had it said Beets and Bleu Cheese, I would have so been there. But the root totally threw me off. Like I said, fucked in France. (As I'm sure you're wondering, the pizza was delicious once the beets had been carefully scraped off and eaten separately. I like beets just fine, but they do not belong on pizza thank you very much.))

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Update: LB's comment reminded me - this weekend I heard an older woman say "Whoopsie Daisy!"! That's my favorite Notting Hill scene too, LB, and needless to say I cracked up on the spot. Made my day, it did.

How much do I love mrtl for choosing travel as today's motif? THIS MUCH. Because, lookit! I'm traveling! So I can totally do Motif Monday! Rock.

So today I was on my own in London because Rob went to work. I'm used to this. The last time we went to New York, for example, he was at a conference and I had 4 days to spend on my own. I LOVE being on my own in a city because I notice everything around me so much more when I'm not talking to someone. And I feel much more a part of the city when I'm on my own. And, of course, I get to do exactly what I want to do. Which is always, at least in part, SHOPPING.

This morning I walked down Portobello Road where they have markets and quirky little shops. In the film Notting Hill, Portobello Road is the street on which Hugh Grant's travel book shop is located. The street is very quaint, very colorful, very Notting Hill.

Then this afternoon I Tubed on down to Harrods. Harrods is to London what Macy's is to New York, only without the cool wooden escalators. It's incredible, it's expensive, it's pretentious, and it's a fucking MAZE. But oh, the shoes. So many lovely, lovely shoes. All well beyond my budget, but still so pretty to gaze at and so nice to stroke. The shoe department at Harrods is like an art museum. The shoes are on display, either on white shelves on the wall or behind glass cases. They've got lights everywhere spotlighting each pair. There are artistic arrangements and displays in the middle of the floor that you can walk around. And everywhere, women are standing, looking intently at the shoes in hushed appreciation, just like people examine art in museums. And of course, the sales people stand on the periphery and watch everyone, just like the security people at museums. And seriously, that shoe department winds in and around just like an art museum. Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.

Then I did some more shopping on down the street before returning to Harrods for afternoon tea. (Within the store are several restaurants and quite likely several small countries as well.) Rob and I hadn't had time for afternoon tea this weekend, and since he didn't mind missing it, I decided to go it alone. And I'm glad I did, because it was the perfect way to relax after several hours of shopping. The room was beautiful (with cushiony pink chairs!) and there was live piano music. They brought me finger sandwiches and scones (with cream spread and marmalade and jam) and several pastries that were to die for. And, of course, tea. They set a silver teapot on my table, which I thought was nice because then I could fill up my teacup as much as I wanted. But oh no, even better - every time my teacup got to be half empty, someone rushed over ("Would you like some more tea, madam?") and filled it up again. I felt like the queen. Or perhaps a princess. Either way, it was nice.

Then on the way home I stopped into the Victoria and Albert Museum and looked at fashion through the centuries and furniture as art. This weekend we had visited the Tate Modern (art museum), but I liked the V&A better. Applied arts are more interesting to me.

I'm back in the hotel now, catching up on blogs (I miss you people so much it's ridiculous) and waiting for Rob to get back.

All of us live such blessed lives, whether we're visiting London or staying home with our kids or heading to work each day. As I sat all prissy-like and had my tea today, I of course couldn't help but think of all the folks affected by Hurricane Katrina. I felt both guilty and incredibly lucky. Please help in whatever way you can - be it financially or by giving blood or by sending care packages or just by squeezing your eyes shut and thinking about and/or praying for everyone who is currently suffering the tragedy of their lifetime. And definitely take a moment to stop and count your blessings. We have so many.

Some more impressions of London:

• Best city parks and gardens I've ever seen. And they are filled with people - young people, old people, lots of kids and families. Walking through a park, any park, is an incredible glimpse of the population of London. So many different cultures, languages, people. And, at least on Sunday, people dress much nicer for a day out than they do in the States. I've never seen so many skirts in a park before.




• If New York is the city that never sleeps, London is the city that is never open. Things close early in the evening here, even compared to what we're used to in Redneck Valley. Or they don't open at all. I can't tell you how many restaurants were closed this afternoon. I'd always heard that people work less in Europe, that they value vacation and leisure, and I have definitely seen examples of that in this city. I admire that. Although, as a tourist, I find it annoying, especially when I am starving for lunch and nothing is open!




• Peeing in public seems to be commonplace. We've now seen two sober men, middle of the day both times, peeing in a corner. In public! And also I saw a mother walk her little boy over to a tree on the sidewalk, along a busy street no less, and help him pull down his pants to pee. That is unacceptable! But I'm certain it's because you have to pay to use most public restrooms. I think that is also unacceptable, but for crying out loud, please stop peeing in public, people!




• The color pink is big here, for men and women alike.






As you arrive on the Tube into a station, there's often an automated recording that tells you which station it is, to which lines you can transfer, and what the next stop will be. I've been practicing my British accent by repeating these phrases over and over again. "The next stop is...Marble Arch." I think I repeated "MAH-ble Ahch" a thousand times today as we walked down the streets. Rob was ready to push me in front of a double-deck bus.


Stonehenge

We were stopped on the street by Americans today who asked us for directions. Rob helped them, and after hearing his voice the lady said, a bit surprised, "Are you all from the States?" They totally thought we lived in London. I find this particularly pleasing because whenever I go to a new place I try to dress and act like the people there. Apparently we're doing pretty well. Now if someone will just ask me something to which I can respond, "MAH-ble Ahch," I think my transformation will be complete.


Roman Baths in Bath

I'm curious about what the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina is like in the States, because over here, at least today, it was mostly about the looting and raping in New Orleans, how "the most powerful nation on earth" has "finally" appealed to the world for aid, and how Bush's aid response is a defining second-term disaster second only to the "disaster in Iraq." I can't say I take offense to any of the BBC reporting, but I am interested to compare what we're hearing here to the angle that US news companies are taking.


Big Ben

My favorite thing today was picnicking on the grounds of St. Paul's Cathedral. Tomorrow Rob will work in his company's UK office (this trip is part business) and I will do the one thing I most enjoy without Rob - SHOPPING!

Enjoy your Labor Day!

It's 9:30pm here and we're back in the hotel because WE ARE TIRED due to jet lag, not sleeping much on the plane, blah blah blah. So we're heading to bed soon, but first I thought I'd blog a few moments from today. Whenever I travel, I always intend to keep a travel journal but then never end up doing it. I'm hoping that this blog might motivate me to do that a bit more this time around. Or not - we'll see how it goes.

A few first impressions of London:

• The Tube is CLEAN. And bright. And smooth.
• The women here are beautiful. The men - meh.
• Everyone here wears very European sneakers. (I'm now especially glad I bought some cool sneaks for this trip..)
• My favorite thing so far is just hearing people talk. I have always loved the British accent, and to hear it everywhere is fabulous. I will admit, though, that if someone talks too fast or mumbles, I don't always catch what they say. That was a surprise to me - I mean, it's English. I think my ear will be trained soon enough, though. And kids are the absolute cutest with their little accents! One of the first things I heard today was a kid saying (pointing to a spiral staircase), "Wot's up ther', Mummy?" and I've pretty much been saying it all day. To Rob. Who's not my mummy, but same diff. I'm also loving the different vocabulary that is used here. "Way out" instead of "exit," for example.

We spent the afternoon in Kew Gardens, which ended up being the perfect activity given our slightly dazed states due to lack of sleep. It was very mellow. We walked through the gardens, sat on lots of benches, and had a lovely late lunch in a grapevine arbor. This evening we strolled about Kensington Gardens for a bit.

Some favorite moments from today:

• We were walking through the rose garden and noticed a little girl sitting very still, and very quietly, behind a clump of roses. A minute later, we saw a woman and an older girl looking around perplexed, and then they started shouting, "Ellie! Ellie!! ELLIE!!" The little girl continued to sit very still behind the clump, in full view to us but not to them. Rob caught the woman's eye, grinned, and gestured to where little Ellie was hiding. And then the woman broke into a smile and said, "Thank you" in a voice that was both slightly perturbed and very much relieved. I'm too tired to tell this well, but the whole thing was very amusing to us.




• Two adults and several children were ahead of us on the path. All of a sudden one of the boys darted off to the side, ran several steps up a grassy incline, plopped himself down, and rolled down the hill. And then he quickly stood up and hurried to catch up with the group. Rob and I burst out laughing when we saw him. Sometimes I think kids really do have it all figured out.




• A kid told his mother that he wanted ice cream, and she responded, "Now then, we've already had banana bread and pudding today, haven't we? That's quite enough, then - we mustn't have anything else." And dude, she sounded just like Supernanny!! It was AWESOME.




• And obviously, just being here. I love London already, and I've seen but the smallest of snippets.

  Oh, one more thing. Rob wants everyone to know that the double bed in this hotel? Yeah, it's two twins pushed together. They're together so it's fine. But nonetheless, he is enjoying the irony.

  Bedtime. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.

  __________
  Update: I feel like such a bitch to even tell you all this, but I just won Blingo again! I know, right? (I could pick a movie ticket or $10 iTunes gift certificate. I went with the iTunes.)

Just a quick note to say we made it safely. Even better news is that Amanda B. updated her blog - I'm not reading blogs today, but I sure as hell checked on her as soon as I turned on my laptop. I'm just so relieved to hear that they are at least safe.

Did you notice I changed my tagline? Yeah, I've never switched it midweek before, but I gotta keep things London, baby! (Refresh if you don't see it.) Thanks to LadyBug for this very important travel advice. ;)

Anna, I thought of you when we rode The Tube. Especially when they said "Mind the gap." Over and over and over again. And Nilbo, the hotel is great.

Alright, much to do! Later, tators.