We just got back from five days in New York City. One morning I decided to pop by The Today Show to see them film some of the outdoor segments. I don't watch this show very often, but I have a crush on Meredith Vieira from her days on The View. And also, I think Matt Lauer is cute.

I got to see Matt, Meredith, and Al all do segments. (Ann Curry was on assignment.) After her segment, Meredith spent a very long time talking to people in the crowd and signing autographs. She was utterly gracious and seemed sincerely interested in chatting with people. At this point I was at the back of the crowd and couldn't make contact with her, not that I would have anyway. I'm sorta shy like that. Unless it's John Stamos and then I would totally jump him. And by jump him I mean hide in a corner and hyperventilate.

I couldn't help but wonder if she was wearing underwear.

Pretty sure the older woman in black just pinched his ass.

Giving me The Ear Tug, which everyone knows means "Wait for me in my dressing room."

Then Kathie Lee Gifford appeared. I did not find her to be gracious or sincere like Meredith, but I took her picture anyway. Because she is famous. And my mother likes her.

Thinks she's hot stuff, I'm just saying.

By this time I had worked my way to the front of the crowd, and not long after they taped a segment directly in front of me. In other words, I was one of those people you always see in the background holding signs and looking entirely too perky for the time of day. (However, I was not holding a sign nor was I particularly perky.)

Hoda Kotb blocked me from the camera for much of the segment, but near the end she shifted and then I saw myself on the monitor. I did not know if I should look at the camera or the people doing the segment. What I really wanted to watch was the monitor because that is me! On TV! So I think I might have looked here and there and everywhere and appeared to be a total goon. Being on national TV is hard, y'all.

Rob has a list of hikes he wants to do someday - a bucket list of sorts, I guess. Near the very top of that list is Half Dome, a formidable granite dome in Yosemite. It's a renowned destination among hikers and is certainly a familiar landmark to anyone who has been to Yosemite. In the past few months he had been mentioning it more, and I was considering planning a trip out there to celebrate his 30th birthday next month. This 30 number is sort of a big deal, even though I know everyone reading this who is older than us is all, "Aw, 30 is nothing." And I'm sure you're right, that it is truly nothing, but just to be safe I was thinking we should probably get this hike in before he turns 30 and needs a walker or something.

As it turned out, his company sent him to a conference in San Jose and so we made a trip out of it, meeting up with my brother and heading to Yosemite after the conference to conquer Half Dome.

Half Dome

Reaching the top of Half Dome requires a 17-mile hike with almost 4,800 feet of elevation gain. Some people train seriously for this hike. Before Half Dome, the longest day hike I had done was 14 miles and significantly less steep. To "train" for Half Dome, we took a couple short hikes in the weeks before, but we actually weren't too worried about our ability to do this hike. We figured that would be the easy part. The hard part would be the cables.

Those ants you see are people.

The hike leads you to the base of Half Dome, whereupon you are confronted by the looming dome's steep rock surface that must be scaled in order to reach the summit. It's not a sheer vertical face, but it is easily a 60 degree angle, I would say. Fucking steep, in other words. And utterly unscalable without rock climbing gear. However, to allow for non-climbers to ascend, metal poles and cables have been installed so that hikers can pull themselves up.

I'm not afraid of heights, but the idea of this still gave me pause. I mean, if you fall, you fall. There are enough people on the cables with you that you would probably fall onto the folks below, but I'm not sure that makes it any better. I'm picturing a domino effect down the cables....yikes. Right as we were starting up the cables, someone above us dropped their water bottle, which quickly slid and bounced its way all the way down the rock and served as a reminder to hold on tightly.

With my brother, about to begin the cable section

We'd read that wearing grippy gloves is recommended, and that was the most critical piece of advice we got, in my opinion. I would have been pretty panicked without a good grip. As it was, I was fine. Going up was tough work, but not as hard as I'd built it up to be. Still, it took nearly 45 minutes, mostly because so many people were coming down the cables at the same time, and passing beside each other took communication and concentration. I found going back down the cables to be much more disconcerting. The path on the rock is worn and feet can easily slip, so I was definitely thanking Baby Jesus for my super-rubbery gloves. We went down face-forward, which was mentally a little harder to handle (you are basically looking straight down, clinging for dear life to the cables) but seemed easier to navigate than heading down backwards, although we saw people doing it both ways.

Starting up the cables

There were definitely people who had full-fledged freakouts on the cable section - tears and trembling and being talked down by friends. On my way up, I passed one girl who was coming down backwards very slowly. As I brushed past her, I heard her mumble, "I am facing my fear. I am facing my fear." She was my hero for the day, because if I actually had a fear of heights, there's no way in hell I would have even considered that climb.

View of Yosemite Valley from the top

We were in surprisingly good shape at the top. We'd hiked over 8 miles by then, all of it consistently steep, including a ridiculous section of trail right before the cables that consists of huge boulder steps that left my leg muscles shaky with fatigue. Still, we were feeling good at the top and much less exhausted than we thought we'd be. And the trail back down was a breeze since it was all basically downhill. At Mile 12, we were all feeling great. A couple miles beyond that, it hit me. I was getting a sharp pain in my lower back with every step. I also had a couple blistery places on my feet that were really starting to rub. My brother was also feeling it. His feet were sore, and his legs were hurting. With 3 miles left, we fell into a silent march down the mountain.

I will note that Rob was without complaint.

With about a mile left I thought I might die. Or, perhaps, thought I might want to die. At this point the trail was not at all taxing, but my body was just so tired. We'd been on this hike for 12 hours now, having started at 6 in the morning. My legs didn't want to carry my weight anymore and my back pain was bordering on unbearable. I could tell my brother was in the same place. We were exhausted enough that mentally we were beginning to shut down as well. You know when you become SO tired that you can't cope, can't think clearly? That's where we were at. Rob, however, was still without complaint.

We were staying in a cabin at Curry Village, which lies at the bottom of Half Dome in Yosemite Valley, about 3/4 mile from the trailhead. As we came off the trail, we trudged on until we reached our cabin door, where my brother immediately flung himself onto the porch floor. Or, rather, gently eased himself onto the porch floor. Moaning. I waited while Rob fished out the keys and opened the cabin door, and then I dropped my backpack and fell onto the bed. Moaning. Rob might very well have skipped through the door. I wasn't watching, but needless to say of the three of us, the old man wasn't the one who could have used a walker.

Rob in his new tshirt, with Half Dome in the distance

The next day we were remarkably recovered. We all had some muscle soreness, but we were in good enough shape to do two short hikes, including one to a spot where we could admire Half Dome and marvel that we'd stood at the top.

Rob and I just got back from a trip to California. He had a conference in San Jose, and afterwards we took a few days to see Yosemite. My brother joined us for the Yosemite part of the trip, and he and I had one day together while Rob was still in the conference. My brother hadn't been to San Francisco, so we spent the day seeing the city. I had a list of places I wanted to take him, and at the top of that list? What else, people? The Full House houses! Best spot in the city.

While on the trip, we took a tour of Antelope Canyon, a stunning slot canyon in Arizona. Rob stumbled upon online photos of this place by accident a couple months ago, and I'm so glad he did because visiting this canyon was a highlight for all of us.

And that's despite the fact that the guide was a complete loon. She would tell rambling personal stories of absolutely no relevance and then hurry us all around the corner because "I've been here since 6 this morning and I'm tired and want to go home." She actually didn't rush the tour - in fact, it went longer than it was supposed to - but she set an odd pace of hurrying up just to launch into a tangent just to hurry up again.

She also insisted on telling everyone which photos to take. A slot canyon is a very difficult place to photograph, and I think she was trying to be helpful (although she knew diddly-shit about photography and seemed mostly just to enjoy bossing people around). At stop after stop along the way, she would order us to "Stand here and take that photo." And then we would wait until everyone stood there and took that photo. We couldn't not stand there and take that photo - she INSISTED that everyone with a camera stand there and take that photo.

I will admit that I have added this phrase - Stand here and take that photo - to my personal repertoire. Rob tends to carry the camera (and take photos) more than I do on trips. When I see a shot I think would be nice, sometimes I ask for the camera but more often I'm too lazy and just point in the general direction of the shot and say some variation of, "Hey Rob, get that one." But the problem is that Rob doesn't always understand what I want him to take, and by the time I explain what I'm looking at ("I like the way the light hits that rooftop over there") I could have just taken the damn photo myself. Which is why I'm liking this new phrase: Stand HERE and [pointing] take that photo. So clear! No confusion! Plus it makes us chuckle.

So as the tour guide led us through the narrow, winding canyon, alternately pointing out strange rock formations (an eagle, Bill Clinton's nose) and telling us what she bought her husband for Father's Day, Rob stuck to the back of the group so he could shoot his own photos and avoid having people in them.

This did not go over well with the tour guide. She needed us all to be together. Now, I get this. You can't have people wandering around on their own. But Rob was never out of sight; he was just trailing ten feet behind. "Sir!" she would repeatedly shout from the front of the group. "Sir! Stay with the group. I need you up here!" Rob would amble close enough for her to shut up and then immediately lag behind again, getting shots. Honestly, I think what annoyed the guide more than anything was that Rob wasn't standing here taking that photo. (These photos are the result of his rebellion, which was clearly worth it.)

I bounced between Rob and the rest of my family, hanging back with him for awhile and then catching up to walk with them. The guide soon figured out our relationships and offered to take a family photo. Rob was dragging behind, so she took one of me with my parents and brother and then as Rob caught up she said, "In-Law! Stand over there with the rest of the family."

My brother and I nearly lost it, nudging each other while biting our lips to keep from laughing. Soon we couldn't hide our snickering, though, as the guide continued to call Rob "In-Law" for the rest of the tour. "In-Law! Stay with the group!" "Come a little closer, In-Law." "In-Law! Stand here and take that photo."

And I confess that after the tour ended my brother and I took it upon ourselves to continue referring to my poor dear husband as "In-Law." For the duration of the trip. Because we are assholes. And also because it's friggin' funny, I'm just saying.

So not a gambler, but I had to at least do a slot machine. Won $1.75, then gambled it all away. The addictive part, for me, was pulling the lever.

We were at the MGM Grand, and I insisted we pretend we were in one of those casino heist movies where they try to blend in on the casino floor and talk into their sleeves and dash through all the hidden corridors. Rob was not exactly game for playing along, but at one point we did take the stairs instead of the elevator, and the minute we pushed through the door the fancy décor stopped - the stairwell was all cinderblocks and pipes and it was just like in the movies! I was pretty sure that from the stairwell we could find a service door that would lead us to the vault, and then we'd just need to replicate someone's fingerprint or eyeball in order to break in. Or maybe crawl through a duct and drop from the ceiling.

We're back home now, and today's my birthday. 28.

"Just living is not enough...One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
-Hans Christian Andersen

See Rob at bottom right of arch for scale.