As Rob and I sit on the beach, I begin pointing out beautiful women. "She's gorgeous," I say, nodding my head toward a woman walking past us.

As Rob follows my gaze, I notice another woman walking through the water in a dark bikini. "There's a woman who definitely belongs in a bikini," I say. "Look at her."

"I can't believe I'm checking out women on the beach with my wife," Rob says.

"I love checking out women," I say, shrugging. Of course, he knows this. Usually I'm pointing out a woman's shoes or cute top, but sometimes I'll remark on a particularly nice butt or, like today, the whole package. The female figure is a beautiful thing to behold, and being a heterosexual woman doesn't make me unaware of that. In a similar way I appreciate the sleek strut of a cat, moving its perfect proportions with a touch of prissiness.

We're still staring at the woman in the dark bikini.

"That's an hourglass figure," Rob says, in a way that suggests he's never before seen a more definitive example. Neither have I.

"I don't understand how she can have such a small waist," I say, "and yet still be so voluptuous at top and bottom."

"She's not really voluptuous," Rob disagrees.

"No, you're right. But her ass isn't flat, and she's got good boobs." I'm making an unspoken comparison to myself - my curves are considerably straighter than hers.

We pause in our commentary for a moment, and then Rob adds, "Her butt is tan."

I look at him quizzically, this comment seeming a bit random. "Why do you say that? I mean, it is. But why are you pointing it out?"

"Compared to you, I mean. She's tan all over. And you...you're whiter in some places."

"Well, she's probably been here all week." There is a touch of defensiveness in my voice. "If I'd been here all week, I'd be tan all over, too."

"Oh, I know. I was just making a comparison."

I raise an eyebrow at this. "I didn't realize we were making comparisons."

He is smart enough not to respond.

"In that case," I continue, "she has long hair. There's a comparison. Also? She has a big-muscled man."

And so ends our babe watching. We stick to admiring the view of the ocean for the rest of the day.