There are sometimes benefits to living in Redneck Valley. In EMT class last week we were learning about the circulatory and respiratory systems, and we got to examine some organs from a cow and a pig. I came home and was telling Rob all about it, and he asked, "Did they smell like formaldehyde?" And I was like, "Dude, they were FRESH. Killed just this morning." Butchering happens all the time around here, so our instructor just asked a farmer friend for some parts.

There are two college girls in class who are clearly not from Redneck Valley because they were very grossed out by the animal anatomy in front of them. The bodies weren't there - just unattached organs. Still, they could barely keep from gagging when our instructor held up the pig's trachea and lungs for us to see. I wanted to holler across the room, "That ain't nothin' y'all! I seen live pigs be castrated!" Which is true, but probably not a topic for polite company.

After class we were allowed to examine the pig's organs more closely. And I could not stop touching the lungs. Did you know that lungs are really soft? They are. Downright pillowy. As we were poking things, our instructor warned us, "Whatever you do, don't burst the gallbladder!" (It's filled with nasty bile.) So then of course I was all MUST. SQUEEZE. GALLBLADDER. I felt compelled to squeeze the thing. It looked like a water balloon, its thin walls stretched tight with liquid. And we all know the pleasure of squeezing a water balloon. I was possessed by some bizarre primal urge or something - must squeeeeze it. So when no one was looking, I did. And then I wanted to squeeze it again, because squeezing it the first time had been so satisfying and also there was the slight thrill of danger knowing it could burst and splatter all over everyone. Seriously, there is something wrong with me. But whatever, I squeezed it again. Gently.

I then distracted myself by playing with the heart. A few of us cut into it so we could see the chambers. We were actually able to slide our fingers through the passageways of the heart and lungs. It was all pretty amazing. Who knew fondling pig parts could be such fun?