Last weekend we finally got a Wii Fit and I was very eager to compare my Wii Fit Age to Rob's because I knew mine would be better. I mean, I don't think there is any doubt about which of us is more fit. I work out in multiple ways multiple times a week, and Rob's fitness plan consists of "biking to work." I put that in quotations because he DOESN'T bike to work - he just tells his doctor that he does.

Considering that Rob has been lamenting his actual age, I was looking especially forward to mocking his Wii Fit Age. "Oh! Thirty going on FIFTY!" I would taunt while reveling in the fact that I've got the strong hard body of a 21 year-old.

Except that's not exactly how it happened. I took the Body Test first, and after taking my measurements, it gave me a balance test to do. No big deal. I do yoga, people. You should see my Tree Pose. Balance is not a problem.

But. I didn't understand the instructions of the balance test. At all. The interface was SO not clear. Rob seemed to understand it right away, and was trying to tell me what to do, but I was not getting it. I was supposed to lean left and then right on the balance board to get the red bars near the blue bars...or something like that. I was completely confused as Rob continued trying to coach me. I shifted left and right and the bars moved up and down erratically and I grew more frustrated and Rob became more exasperated and then suddenly it stopped.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Time's up," Rob said.

"It was TIMED?!"

"Oh my god, how do you NOT understand this?"

I expected there to be additional tests to comprehensively assess my fitness level, but that was it. One stupid, impossible-to-understand balance test! Which I totally failed. Seriously, I didn't even get through all the levels because I took so much time not understanding what the hell to do.

So then my Wii Fit Age appeared. Forty-freaking-six. 46, people! Humiliating. But I would argue this is less a reflection of my physical prowess than it is of my mental acuity. Which is no less embarrassing, since apparently I have a middle-aged mind that cannot comprehend these darn new-fangled video games.

Rob's Wii Fit Age? 27. Such bullshit, I'm just saying. Although I'm sure it was nice for him, for just a moment, to be under 30 again.