Have tried on hooch shirt again, at home, and have concluded that shirt neither suggests bodice-ripping nor wrong size but, rather, loudly proclaims wearer to be dominatrix. Lace-up feature, while seemingly sexy in store, actually renders shirt the sort best accessorized with handcuffs and whip. Am perplexed by store/home discrepancy but suppose this is perfect example of transformative nature of dressing room lighting.

Am back to square one. Fuck.