Archive - Jun 28, 2006
grum p. mcgrumpington
kelly | 28 June 2006 - 8:20pm
- I am tired. Because my husband's motherfucking work cell phone beeped all night long with text message (server notification) alerts. And then when the text messages stopped pouring in, the motherfucking thing began beeping its low battery alert. You know, once every ten minutes or so, such that it would beep just as I had fallen back to sleep after being awakened by the LAST beep. Which eventually provoked me to say to Rob, "When I asked you earlier this evening if your phone needed charging, why the hell did you say no?" To which he responded that he hadn't actually checked before telling me no which, I might suggest, was the WRONG answer to give to someone already rather (and by rather I mean VERY) annoyed. Also, when asked "Think you might plug the motherfucker in so we can get some fucking sleep?" the WRONG answer is "Yeah, in a minute - when I get the energy." And then when The Annoyed One gets out of bed to plug it in her own damn self and climbs back into bed a wee bit cold, the WRONG thing to say is, "No blanket! I'm REALLY hot." But, the correct response to that is an empathic yanking of the blanket to one's chin, a terse "THEN PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN UP TO PLUG IN THE GODDAMNED PHONE AS THAT WOULD HAVE COOLED YOU OFF" and a hrumphing onto one's side with one's back to one's husband and one's husband's goddamn motherfucking cell phone. (And don't even ask why he didn't just put the fucker on vibrate because there is no good answer to that, either.) So, um, yes. I am tired.
- Our air conditioner is broken. Déjà vu.
- Two shoe sales people were rude to me today. Okay, not rude. But not friendly. Perhaps they don't understand that shoe shopping is an oasis. Perhaps someone should explain to them that one doesn't fuck with the oasis. That some woman someday might use shoe shopping as a way to escape her sweltering, sleepless life. That when she walks through the door, she will need kindness and soothing. And that, when she asks about a certain shoe which just might be the loveliest shoe she has ever laid her weary eyes upon, not having it in her size is NOT AN OPTION, DAMMIT.
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