To the dude in the HUGE red pick-up truck who just honked at me as I was getting the mail:

Next time you want me to know that you think I'm a hot little number, kindly pull over and say it to my face, as that will give me the opportunity to quietly tell you that the size of your dick is inversely proportional to the size of your truck. As it was, I had to scream it out after you, and consequently now all my neighbors know.

That is all. (Fuckwit.)