Can I just tell you how surreal it is to go from being in a city full of French-speaking, baguette-carrying, lovely-shoe-wearing people to being in a valley full of shit-producing, moo-emitting, grass-grazing cows? And what's weirder is that the only thing that separates these two very different worlds is one 8-hour, moderately expensive plane ride. Incredible.

Four things I love about the States:

1. Stores and restaurants are almost always open here. It is morally unacceptable for a Starbucks to be closed on a Sunday afternoon. Am I right? It is also a downright sin for restaurants to only be open from noon-2:00 pm and 7:00-10:00 pm. Or for McDonald's to NOT be open at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning, especially when you need food FAST because you have got a plane to catch. Even in Redneck Valley, things open early, close late, and remain open for all of those hours in between. Not the case in Europe. At all. I have so many woeful stories I could tell because of this little cultural difference, but suffice it to say that here in the US of A we are a society not only of excess but of access as well.




2. Say it with me, folks: AIR CONDITIONING. Hardly anything was air conditioned in London or Paris. I knew to expect this, and being September it didn't cramp my style too much. But it did bother me on the metro and on trains and other smallish places. And there were times in the middle of the day when we were HOT and wanted to duck into a restaurant as much for cooling off as for eating, but none of them were air conditioned. That kinda sucked.




3. Free water at restaurants. At our first meal in London, when the waitress asked us what we wanted to drink, we made the mistake of reciting the line we always use here in the States: "We'll start with water." She proceeded to bring out a bottle of fancy (aka expensive) water which was more or less room temperature (that's another thing - rarely are drinks served cold). During the whole trip, we only once dined in a restaurant that provided water to us for free. I'm not really complaining; I just found it an interesting difference considering that where we live complimentary water at restaurants is pretty much expected.




4. Public restrooms that are plentiful and free. There were more public restrooms in London than Paris but, with only a few exceptions, in both cities they were pay toilets. Most stores did not have restrooms, and we even noticed many restaurants (!) that didn't have any restrooms, especially in Paris. Public water fountains were even more difficult to find (but at least they were free - although never cold). I think taking a shit and drinking water are basic human rights and I'm glad I live in a country where I can do these things for free in public places (oh come on, you know what I mean). And that, folks, is about as patriotic as you'll ever see me.

One way cool thing about both cities (perhaps Europe in general, I dunno) is that all posted prices included tax already. Restaurants, street vendors, clothing stores - all of them did this. I've seen this a few times in the States at busy fast food places in cities, but it was the case for every purchase we made on the trip.

Ooh, and another cool thing I noticed in both cities were Smart Cars. They are soooo small! As in, a mini Cooper looks like a frickin' SUV next to these things. They were all over the place in London and Paris.

I became a bit obsessed with these little cars, despite the fact that were I to actually sit in one, I would certainly have an immediate claustrophobia attack much like the one I had while riding in the smallest elevator known to man at our hotel in Paris, in which there was just enough room for Rob, myself, and our two very small suitcases, in which there were two doors, one that automatically opened and one that had to be pushed open and when Rob did not push the manual one open quickly enough I screamed, as only someone who is literally about to black out from the loss of oxygen can, "PUSH IT! HARDER! PUSH IT HARD!", which he did and then deftly stepped into the hallway out of my way as I barrelled out of the elevator gasping for air, heaving for air, and exclaiming, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH. Oh sweet lord!" only to then turn my head and notice that one of the housekeepers was standing there observing the crazy American lady who is either very claustrophobic or just had an incredible orgasm in the elevator, to whom she politely said, "Bonjour!" to which I responded by mumbling "Pwhummum" as I sucked in deep breaths and stumbled, lightheaded, into our room.

I'm resisting the urge to choose a favorite city. I love to name favorites and I absolutely would if it were an easy answer. But Paris and London are so different from each other and also SO different from New York and SO SO different from San Francisco and then if I start comparing those to the other major cities I've been to (Atlanta, DC, Toronto, Mexico City, Madrid, Barcelona) I just get really really confused. (Does Pittsburgh count? Nah, I didn't think so.)

Of those 10, I will say that my top three, in random order, are New York, London, and Paris, with Toronto as a strong #4. I will also tell you that Atlanta and DC and Mexico City sink to the very bottom of the list, although that's likely unfair to Mexico City because I was there on a mission trip and so only saw the worst parts. The other cities are muddled in the middle somewhere. The next city Rob and I would like to visit is Sydney, Australia. It seems like a cool place. Plus, the man at the post office tells me it is his all-time favorite city, so there you go! Plus, how great would it be to see Australia? PLUS, we could go geocaching with Bente! (I know you don't live in Sydney, Bente, but we'd work it out...)

However, there are currently no plans in the works for a trip to Sydney. I am, however, planning my upcoming pilgrimage to the Target of Redneck Valley. Which, did I mention, opens in October? I'm considering camping out in the parking lot so I can be the first person through the doors. Is that weird? Nah, I didn't think so.