And then the flood gates opened and the deluge began and there was much rejoicing in the Rob+Kelly household. There was spirited dancing and shouts of jubilation: "We have been spared the blight of pregnancy! Praise be to the almighty powers of contraception! It is a miracle that we can lie together and not beget!"

I didn't really think I was pregnant, but there was just a tiny amount of doubt. The boob thing had me wondering. After all, having enlarged, sore breasts is the equivalent of a neon sign that flashes YOU ARE PREGNANT. I knew I really couldn't be, but I also knew that with the universe against me I could quite possibly be one of the .1% of unlucky women who do everything right and get fucked over anyway.

Because the thing is (brace yourselves), we're not sure we want kids. Ever.

According to Bridget Jones, the question single women loathe is "Why aren't you married yet?" Well, for a married woman without children, the dreaded question is (said with pitying disbelief), "You don't have any children?" It is just assumed that all women, all people, want children. And just as so many people think single women who prefer being single are either nuts or lying, women who don't want children are considered absolute freaks of nature.

And maybe I am a freak of nature. I don't know why I don't feel strongly about having children. It's at least partly because I'm selfish and prefer to live my life with Rob unburdened and without making sacrifices. At this point in my life anyway, I'd rather buy shoes and travel. And it's partly because I'm not sure I want to be responsible for bringing someone into a world whose future seriously concerns me. And part of it, the tiniest part, is me being antagonistic towards society, because I really hate being expected to do something just because everyone else is.

But there are other times, mostly within the last year or so, when I do think I might want to be a mom someday. Maybe. Or maybe not. See? I can't decide.

I've always been terrible at making decisions. I make good ones, but only because I agonize over them. I often wish I could live more than one life because there are so many things I want to experience and yet most of them aren't compatible with the others.

I think some people (at least some of the people I know here in Redneck Valley) enter into parenthood the same way they practice religion - without truly considering what it means and what it takes to do it well. Rob and I aren't those people. I don't know if us not knowing whether or not we want children means we obviously don't, or if it just means that we think things through thoroughly and appreciate the huge responsibility that is being a parent. I know it would be incredibly fulfilling, and, believe me, I have tremendous respect for people who are parents. And I think Rob and I would make great parents. We just need to figure out if that's what we want for ourselves.

And for now, the answer to that is a resounding no.