Multiple times throughout the day yesterday, I noticed people noticing me. Well, not people. Men.

First, some dude checked me out as I passed him while walking to work. I figured it was because I was wearing a skirt. (I rarely wear skirts; in fact, this is probably the first time all summer I've worn one. I feel more powerful in pants. Cute pants, but pants.)

Then after work as I was walking into the mall, I saw two construction workers on the roof looking down at me. One was even pointing at me. I wasn't convinced the skirt was short enough to be point-worthy, so I decided it must be the boobs that got their attention. (Yes, I am still boobin' it up (™JessicaRabbit). Say the P word and you are dead to me.)

Then at the grocery store I caught an elderly man gazing at me like he'd just popped a Viagra. And I thought to myself, Damn! My attractiveness is age-spanning! My hotness is inter-generational! Men of all sorts want to jump my bones! Then I panicked, thinking maybe everyone was staring because my skirt was tucked into my underwear or something. So I ducked into the bread aisle to do that torso-twist thing one must do to look at one's own ass. No skirt tuckage. Shew.

My body has always been more boyish than buxom. Only in recent years have I come to be in possession of an ass, and only in recent weeks have my boobs become big enough to be visible from a roof. So although I find the attention of strange men more skeevy than flattering, I will admit that I walked into the video store feeling rather proud of my newly-acquired curves. There might have even been a bit of a bounce in my step. You know, to better show off the boobs.

As I was leaving the video store, I came face to face with two teenage boys. This ought to be good, I thought to myself. As I pushed open the door and stepped out, one of them grabbed ahold of the door, looked at me like only a teenage boy can, and said in a flirtatious, faux-deep voice, "Thank you."

And then his buddy looked at me and said, "You have nice teeth."

Oh.

Is there some sort of drive-through (I refuse to spell it "thru" - sorry) banking etiquette to which I am not privy? If not, then can somebody please explain to me why the hell people do not evenly distribute themselves among the multiple drive-through banking lanes? Whenever we arrive at the bank drive-through, there will be a long line of cars waiting for the first drive-through lane while all the other lanes, which also have the green OPEN lights over them, are completely empty. Do the tellers give you an extra 10% if you get your check cashed in the first lane or something?

Rob and I will drive past the cars waiting in line and proceed to one of the empty lanes where we are tended to immediately. We always marvel that, even with our example, none of the waiting cars pull out of line and move into one of the empty lanes. And then Rob always says, "We must be missing something."

Are we? Or are all those other people just complete dumbasses?