Oooh, Hawaii, if you ever decide to do this, PICK ME!!

And oooh, Alaska, Oklahoma, California, Oregon, Washington, Texas, Louisiana, Michigan, New York, Illinois, Canada and Australia (yes, I know those last two weren't states), y'all can pick me too cause I've got blogging buddies 'round those parts I'm dying to hang out with.

Disclaimer: If I missed your state/country/planet then that means I don't know (or once knew but now forget) where you live. Please don't think I don't want to meet you because, duh, OF COURSE I DO.

If you don't have anything nice to say, come and sit by me.


This is one of my dearest friends. I'll call her Sydney because I consider her my Sydney Bristow. (She claims she's not a secret service agent but she SO is. Or if she's not, she should be. But she SO is.)

Sydney and I met in college. What immediately drew me in was her bitch factor. I'd always been the kind of person who tried to stave off my inner bitch, and I was impressed that Sydney wore bitchiness so well. Don't get me wrong, she is the greatest person you'll ever meet, if she likes you. But if you don't measure up, do yourself a favor and get out of her way.

Sydney is queen of the retort. She's incredibly witty, the type of person who would be an immediate blogstar. With a single look, a subtle raise of the eyebrows, she can say anything. ANYTHING. She once told me that she likes to try out accents on strangers, just to see if she can pull it off. Of course she can - she's Sydney Bristow.

What I admire most about Sydney is that she's one of the only people I know who has her shit together even more than I do. And what I love most about her is that every now and then she'll slip up, reminding me that she's not flawless, that sometimes even she is capable of dropping a cracker down the front of her dress.

I met her man for the first time this weekend. Never have I liked a man as quickly as I liked B. You know the "connection" those lame-ass people on The Bachelor talk about? Yeah, we had that, B and I. Not a Golly I hope he pins a rose to my breast connection, but a I would have a fucking blast vacationing with him connection. (That's how I measure my male friendships. And few make the cut, I'll have you know.) B is able to make fun of himself as much as he makes fun of other people. And you know what that kind of confidence says about his....character. The dude's worthy, he is.

Sydney, thanks for being cool and confident enough to say all the mean things I'm thinking. To be an elitist with you is the highest of honors.