This week's tagline is brought to you by my dear friend Sydney. There's a blog-worthy story that goes with it. I won't tell it, but Sydney, you're more than welcome to do a guest post, if you'd like. ;)

Friday evening Rob and I went on vacation. We went on vacation to Rob's parents' house, which is in a town very near where we live. They were away for the weekend and their house has the three modern conveniences our house doesn't: cable tv, high-speed internet, and A/C (because ours?...yeah, still broken). Oh, and pizza delivery!

I just heard the gasps. I KNOW. How the hell can two twenty-somethings live in this world without high-speed internet? Heck, how can anyone live in this world without high-speed internet? Dial-up is the devil's spawn. WE KNOW, people, believe me. WE KNOW.

When we first got married, Rob and I rented a little log cabin in what can only be described as THE BOONDOCKS. We lived on a gravel road which was not state or county maintained, but we had cable tv and high speed internet. I know, right?

Then we moved to our current house, which is a mile from a shopping center, a huge housing development, and tons of apartments. And we CANNOT HAVE CABLE. Well, that's not true. We could have cable installed for $21,000. $21,000!!! You see, that's how much it costs for the cable company to run their stupid little cable one mile. Because you see, the cable currently ends one mile away, at the aforementioned shopping center, huge housing development, and tons of apartments. Lucky bastards.

And so we get our television via antenna. All that comes in are the four major networks, which are always fuzzy and not always in color (and if it's raining, nonexistent). And we get our internet via dial-up. (We can't get DSL here either. In fact, our area is last on the list of the DSL company. Nice.) We discussed satellite, but we'd still have to get the networks via our antenna, and that's pretty much all I watch so it seems pointless to pay for satellite and still be forced to watch the networks in fuzzy black and white. And internet access via satellite is fucking expensive and not terribly reliable, plus I told Rob that if I had to sacrifice the thing I love most (tv) then he had to sacrifice the thing he loves most (internet). And so we live in The House Without Cable, our connection to the external world via antenna and modem. I've already started referring to the period of our marriage in which we lived in this house as The Dark Ages.

(Oh, and I have no idea why no one delivers pizza to our house - the pizza places must be owned by the cable company or something.)

So perhaps you can understand why I looked forward to this vacation ALL DAY on Friday. To be able to access a million trillion channels, all of them SO CLEAR IT IS LIKE THOSE PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM and to download video from the internet SUPER FAST, just for the hell of it and to have pizza brought to your front door, all the while sitting in a cool, climate controlled setting is ABSOLUTE BLISS. That, my friends, is living royally.

We spent Friday evening with the A/C cranked up (or down?...whichever means COLD) and I flipped through the channels over and over and over again, in awe of the choices. And we downloaded tons of movie trailers, some of movies we have no intention of ever seeing, just because we could. And since we were feeling especially like spoiling ourselves, we guzzled soda with our pizza. A lot of it. As in a 2-liter. GUZZLED it.

I had a really great time and I hope we can do it again very soon.