twin to twin girl talk while sitting cross-legged on her bed

Imagine this if you will. You're having a lovely late spring. Every day is in the 70's. But then one June week, OUT OF NOWHERE, that 70 turns into 90. And it stays there. When you wake up in the morning, it is already 85. No really. EIGHTY-FIVE. Degrees Fahrenheit.

And let's pretend you live with a man who likes to postpone turning on the A/C as long as possible. Don't try to understand why this would be because it doesn't make any goddamn sense whatsoever. And so you suffer. You drip with sweat as soon as you get out of the shower. Your makeup slips off your face before you can finish putting it on. Even your award-winning haircut with highlights won't cooperate because it is THAT fucking hot.

So finally you give this man, this husband, an ultimatum. You are either going to turn on the A/C or you are going to leave his ass in no time flat. Because there are other men in town who would totally have you, MEN WITH THEIR A/C TURNED ON.

And imagine if you will that the husband relents and you skip eagerly over to the A/C control. You turn it on and crank the thermostat down to 65, ready for the cool air, YEARNING for the cool air.

Um, cue the cool air.

Where the FUCK is the cool air?

Yeah, piece of shit A/C is broken.

This is why people do bad things. Bad things like kill people. It is because they are hot. VERY hot. And their A/C is broken. They are hot and their A/C is broken and they are sweating and dripping of makeup and even their hair is laughing at them.

It was when I seriously considered emptying the contents of the freezer, including the shelves, so that I could stand in it that I realized there was a better solution.

Mrtl, make room because I'm moving in with you. At least until our A/C gets fixed.