In Cozumel, Mexico, we went snorkeling. (Kelly's Travel Tip of the Day: When in Cozumel for the first time, do not go snorkeling. Go to Tulum. It is amazing.) We had been to Tulum on our honeymoon, so this time we went snorkeling, which was incredible and definitely a trip highlight.

On the boat ride back to our cruise ship, after snorkeling, the crew was serving margaritas and rum punch. As much as we wanted, for free. Perhaps you already see where this is going. Remarkably, I did not.

Until this day, I had only ever been drunk once in my life. That was thanks to rum punch and severe dolphin despair. This time I avoided the rum punch. (Well okay, I had one but it wasn't very good and then they brought me another one even though I'd asked for a margarita and so I had to drink that one, too, because what was I going to do, dump it in the ocean?)

You should know that the margaritas were served in small cups. They were mini-margaritas, really. So small! And so good! And so free!

I think I had maybe 3 or 4 margaritas, plus the 2 rum punches. Honestly, I lost count but, again, they were small(ish). I was feeling good, but not impaired. We were on the sun roof and had to go down a little ladder to get to the restroom, and I could shimmy up and down it (while on a rocking boat) just fine. In fact, one of the other passengers commented on how fast I could do it.

So then the bartender comes up and asks if we want another margarita. I say no. We're almost back to the ship, and we'd each had more than enough. "Oh come on," he says with his charming Latino accent. "Just one more!"

"One more to share," I consent, gesturing to Rob.

"No, no! I'll bring one for each of you!" And he hops down the ladder before we can protest.

When he returns, he hands Rob a margarita first, and then turns to me with the other. "This one for you is special," he says, smiling.

(Kelly's Second Travel Tip of the Day: "Special" is Spanish for "date rape drug.")

I drank this final margarita because, again, what was I going to do, dump it in the ocean? That seems environmentally dubious, plus a waste of a perfectly good margarita. But that last one was the one that did it. It was, I suspect, almost entirely tequila. I can't say I detected that while I was drinking it, but that's probably because my tongue went numb after the first sip. As we were getting off the boat, the total sum of my consumption hit me. I made it to our stateroom, giggling uncontrollably the entire way. And then I plopped onto the bed and observed to Rob that the room was spinning. "Is it spinning for you?" I asked. No, it wasn't. I had trouble believing this because I generally hold my liquor better than Rob. And, dude, the room was definitely spinning. I was not making that up.

That was maybe 2:30? For awhile we entertained ourselves with a lovely conversation, among other things. And then suddenly I was waking up to Rob exclaiming, "Shit! It's 6:25!" We'd made plans to meet our friends for dinner at 6:30.

We met them at 6:33. In our dinner attire. I'm not sure how we did it. I'm sure we looked like shit. I felt like shit, although I no longer felt drunk. The spinning had stopped. Even though we hadn't eaten lunch, I was not a bit hungry. And when our waiter poured the wine, I nearly retched.

I survived the meal, although I couldn't eat anything and was surely a terrible dinner companion. Rob felt fine, but I was feeling worse and worse, so after dinner we went straight back to our room. I eased onto the bed, where I spent the next four hours awake and trying not to move. If I moved even an inch, I was overcome with a wave of intense nausea. Such misery. I assume this is what normal post-drunk feels like, but I had never experienced it before. The last time was definitely NOT like this. At one point I turned my head toward Rob half an inch, which was the limit of what I could bear, and whispered, "I think I am going to die from this." He assured me I would not. I remained unconvinced.

But, I did not die! I was allowed to live so that I might warn others: Beware the Mexican margarita. It will mess you up.