been reading: Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander

JLD & HFD gave us this book for Christmas, and it immediately became our favorite gift. I'd actually heard of the blog (as well as various spinoffs), but hadn't read much of it. The book is basically the blog in print, although there are additional entries and also some that are revised or entirely different.

The book is amazingly accurate. Horrifyingly, hilariously accurate. For example, scarves and grammar. THAT IS ME. Then there's yoga, David Sedaris, and threatening to move to Canada. Me, me, and me. But what sent a chill down my spine was kitchen gadgets. This entry mentions that the KitchenAid stand mixer is the ultimate kitchen gadget for white people. It goes on to say "They will match this mixer to their kitchen's color scheme and it will make up the focal point." Well, shit. Do you remember this post, in which I totally talk about how the KitchenAid is the focus of my kitchen? I am SO WHITE.

The "public radio" entry in the book (which is entirely different from the online version) is also completely dead-on. And here is where I admit that for Christmas I bought Rob an NPR Station Locator map. It is a US map that shows, for each city or region, which numbers to tune your radio to in order to hear NPR. Because nothing makes Rob and me grumpier when we're driving than to be listening to an NPR interview (or "Car Talk" or "Wait! Wait!" or "This American Life" or, yes, even "A Prairie Home Companion") and then start getting static because we're driving out of range. And by the time we search around the dial to find another NPR station, we've missed stuff. God forbid. And so I bought him the map, which he was entirely too excited about. As was I. Because we are SO WHITE.

We started bringing the book along to various family holiday events in order to read excerpts to our white families. We soon realized, though, that only one side of Rob's family would relate to the book and get the jokes. They are the people who wear outdoor performance clothes and shop at Whole Foods and begin all their conversations with "I heard the most interesting thing on NPR..."

We decided the book would be lost on the rest of our relatives, his and mine. Especially those family members who consider exploding an old washing machine to be a worthwhile holiday bonding activity. No, really. Blowing up a fucking washing machine. These folks are what the book refers to as "the wrong kind of white people."