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kelly  |  11 September 2008 - 6:16pm

On the day of September 11, the September 11, I was a senior in college. I was walking across campus to my 11:00 Greek Literature class when I happened to run into Doreen. I hadn't heard about anything. Greek Lit was my first class, and I had slept in and then eaten breakfast in my dorm apartment and then headed to class. Doreen told me two planes had hit the World Trade Center, and I remember thinking that this was an odd coincidence, and tragic news. But I was puzzled by how upset she seemed over some plane crashes. We only spoke briefly, and it never occurred to me that the crashes weren't accidental.

As I slid into my desk, the other students were all abuzz. A couple others sat in silence like me, but most were talking to each other in hushed, concerned whispers. I wondered what they were talking about. I'm not sure I even considered that they might be talking about the planes.

The professor walked in, looking ashen. He said, "Hi everyone. Obviously, with what's happened, I don't think it's appropriate to have class. I know some of you may know people...may want to call family. And frankly, I'm in no shape to teach class right now myself." I realized, then, that what had happened was serious. That somehow the plane crashes were more than just crashes. In the short time I'd been in this course, I had come to really respect this man, and it was unnerving to see him so shaken.

I still didn't know details, still didn't get it. On the way back to my dorm, I overheard someone say that the Pentagon had been hit. And then I understood. I looked up at the sky. We are being attacked.

I turned on the tv as soon as I got inside. The towers had already fallen. I was glued to CNN, although I do not remember what I saw. I do remember that the scenes they showed looked like war zones, and I was astonished this was happening in my own country. And I remember the families and the photos they were holding of loved ones' faces. Oh, the families and the faces. At some point, there was a knock on my door, and when I opened it a campus police officer was standing there. A few weeks before, I had reported that my parking sticker had been stolen off my car, and he had come by to let me know that they'd found the person who'd stolen it. But when I first opened the door and saw the officer, I assumed he had come to evacuate me. Or maybe just to check on me.

As he stepped inside, I glanced again at the tv. We both stood there, watching. It was comforting to have him in my apartment with his uniform and his gun. He was authority and protection. And then he said, shaking his head, "I just... Can you believe this?" And I realized he was as scared as me.

We watched a moment more, and then he told me how they'd found the guy who stole my sticker, how he'd blamed it on his friends, and for a moment things were normal again. For a moment my attention was on a different story, one where the good guys get the bad guy.

He said the thief would buy a new parking sticker for me, and reimburse me for the one he stole. That seemed fair. He asked if I wanted to press charges. I didn't. Justice, in this case, seemed so easy.

I emailed Rob and my mom, who were both in Redneck Valley. I have no idea what I wrote, but it must have conveyed panic because Mom wrote back, "Are you okay?" I found this an ignorant response. Was anyone okay? I decided they must be somehow sheltered back home, must not yet realize the implications of this.

The college issued a statement saying it would not officially cancel classes but that professors were free to do what they felt was appropriate. All my professors canceled, except one. I considered not going, but he had a reputation for being cruel, and I figured he'd make notes of who didn't show. But as I trudged to my 4:00 class, I was furious with him. Did he really think Shakespeare was more important than what was happening in the world right now?

Everyone in class was pissed. What the fuck were we doing here? Who did this jackass professor think he was, making us come to class? We needed to be watching tv. Or calling people. Did he really think we could focus on Shakespeare?

He walked in silently and stood before us. He said, "I know some of you may be personally affected by what has happened, and by all means you should leave. If any of you feel like you can't be here right now, please go. It's okay. But I am from New York, it is my city, and I'll be damned if they are going to stop us. The best thing we can do is refuse to be stopped, to continue with our normal lives as best we can. And so if you need to leave, I understand. But for the next hour and a half, we are going to talk about Shakespeare."

I didn't cry until I went to bed that night. All those faces. I sobbed for the families. And I cried for myself, selfishly but sincerely, because I knew life would never be the same. I was certain we would reinstate the draft, and Rob would have to go. I was wrong about that. I was also certain life in this country had changed in a fundamental way, and that a naive, blissful innocence had been lost. That I was right about.

I had felt the shift. Never had we all been so together, yet so alone.

  • motley
 

Karyn  |  11 September 2008 - 8:09pm

This is really, really beautifully written.

I was working for a company that rented out construction trailers, and one of our drivers -- who was known for playing practical jokes -- called to tell me that a plane had hit one of the towers. I didn't believe him. I just assumed he was joking, because he pulled shit like that all the time. Then his voice became really, really serious, and he told me to turn on the TV in a tone I had never heard him use before, and I knew he wasn't kidding.

I turned on the news just in time to see the second plane hit. I was living up in Harrisburg, Pa., at the time, and one of our drivers was delivering a trailer to Three Mile Island (nuclear power plant about 20 minutes away from Harrisburg). Because of security reasons, they stopped letting people in and out, so our driver was stuck there for much of the day. We actually had customers who were expecting deliveries that day call to complain that they weren't getting their trailers on time. And, like you, I remember thinking, Are they really that clueless? Are they really concerned about their stupid trailer when people are dead and the world is changing in front of our eyes?

Remember when we could get through security at the airport in just a few minutes and meet people at their gate when they landed? Such a small thing, but it was another lifetime ago.

 

RzDrms  |  11 September 2008 - 11:37pm

i was wearing a pink sleeveless shirt and black polyester slacks; i was skinny. i was also about 10 minutes late for work, and i heard our beloved radio announcer say that a second plane had hit the towers, but it meant almost nothing to me as i pulled into my parking spot around 8:10am CST. everything was different when i walked into the offices though.

the two worst moments for me were, first and foremost, seeing the desperate men and women jumping from those windows, plummetting to their certain deaths. it haunts me now, still, seven years and 14 hours later. i hated time magazine and others for publishing and promoting those photos. second was the image of that first tower falling. the very words out of my mouth the moment after it happened were, "but all of those rescue workers!!! oh my goodness!" they died.

reader's digest published a story from the older parents of a younger woman who died in the towers' collapse. when her tower fell in front of them on their tv, her father fell to the floor at that same moment and said to his wife,

"she's gone."

that freakin' haunts me more than any other 9/11 story. God Bless Them.

 

geeky  |  12 September 2008 - 9:02am

I was in college when it happened too. I remember leaving my 8am class and overhearing something about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I thought that was odd, but didn't think too much of it. I made my way to a computer lab to check email before my next class. There, I heard more murmurs of planes hitting the Pentagon, the White House, etc etc. There was so much confusion. I decided to hit up cnn.com to see what exactly was going on. The website wouldn't load. That's when it hit me that this was something big. It was time for my 9am class and I decided to go because I couldn't find out anything else at the moment. I don't remember much about the day after that, except going home at some point, turning on the TV, and watching the footage of the towers falling over and over again. I was in complete shock, and like you, I too knew that things would never be the same.

 

RzDrms  |  12 September 2008 - 10:53am

sorry, the story i referred to was in guideposts, and the young woman's name was ann.

 

UCM  |  12 September 2008 - 3:57pm

I wish we could all bond together like that again on just another normal day, without tragedy.

 

Danielle  |  13 September 2008 - 11:18am

That you told this story really strikes me. So many people see the date, think of it, but don't really know what to say or do. I know I feel like that. I want to somehow commemorate it, but don't know how.

I was in grad school, entering data into an Excel spreadsheet and completely unaware of what was happening. I didn't understand the enormity of it until I got home. I wish I had known earlier.

 

kelly  |  14 September 2008 - 9:37pm

It was another lifetime ago, Karyn. Thanks for sharing your story.

Rz, I am thankful I didn't see the people jumping and the towers falling. Of course, I saw the towers fall a hundred times in morbid replays, but I did not see it live on tv. And I cannot imagine the horror of seeing that in-person from the streets of New York.

Once I couldn't watch the new channels anymore, geeky, I turned to CNN.com. And so began my addiction to that site. For months after, I was afraid to load the page, afraid of what might have happened. But I was also compelled to check it all the time.

Thanks for the link, Rz. There are two people's accounts that I often turn to on this day, to remember:
Sarah Bunting
Pete Hamill

Me too, UCM. Although I will add that I think we made some poor decisions in those initial moments of defensive mob mentality.

I know what you mean, Danielle. I never know how to commemorate it either, although this felt best this year.

 
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