Yesterday UPS left a package on our porch that wasn't for us. It was supposed be delivered to a house down the road. The discussion that followed regarding what we should do with it demonstrates just how anti-social we are. Rob even sorta knows the man whose name was on the box. They used to work at the same place, although they didn't work together. So he mostly knows of him. Still, we were completely uncomfortable with the thought of interpersonal interaction. Note the many avoidance tactics we think up and how we somehow manage to justify these to ourselves.

"Should we take the package over to their house?"

"I don't know."

"I'll just call UPS. Because they should be informed of their mistake, right?"

"Yeah, they should know."

"And besides. If the Joneses aren't there, then what would we do? It might start raining before they get home, and what if they don't have a protected porch? I don't want the box to get wet."

"Yeah, and if they're not home, I'd feel like I was trespassing or something, poking around their porch. Plus, is it even legal for us to move their mail?"

"I'll just call UPS and they can take care of it."

We examine the box for a UPS phone number, and in doing so discover that the box is addressed to "The Children." The return address is Martha Jones from Sarasota, FL.

"This is clearly a package for the kids from their grandmother. I mean, Martha? From Florida."

"It has to be."

"If I call UPS, it might take days for it to be picked up and delivered to the right place. I don't want the kids to have to wait forever to get a gift from their grandma!"

"Yeah, I know."

"What if I take it by his work on my way to the office in the morning? I can just leave it with the secretary and explain why we had it."

"But that's not really on your way to work."

"It's not that far."

"Well, if you don't mind... Or I could drop it by their house on my way to work. I know they won't be there at that time in the morning."

"But then we still have the rain problem."

"True."

We end the discussion, having decided that I will take the package to the guy's work in the morning and leave it in the main office. Rob calls his mom about something else, and since she also knows Mr. Jones, he confirms with her that Mr. Jones is still employed at the same place.

"Okay, Mom says he still works there. So that's good."

"Did she also say we should suck it up and take it to his house?"

"Yeah, she was like, 'OR, you could just take it to them now.'"

I sigh. "That's probably the right thing to do. I mean, think of 'The Children'!"

"I guess."

"I can call to see if they're home, so we don't have to worry about it raining on the package."

"If you call, I'll drive it down there."

"You will?"

"Yeah, I guess."

I call. Mrs. Jones answers, and I explain to her about the package. I hang up and tell Rob that they are home.

"Alright, I'm going to go."

"Good luck!" I say, admiring his bravery.

When he gets back, I pepper him with questions. What did you say? What did she say? Was she nice? Did she smile? Did she thank you? He says that everything went fine, and she was nice, and it's her daughter's birthday.

I really don't know what we thought would be so awkward. But at least we are making progress! Maybe in another couple months we'll have worked up the nerve to give our neighbors the barn photos...