academic archetypes
kelly | 25 February 2008 - 5:29pm
Last week at EMT class our instructor was reviewing a concept when Gail raised her hand and inquired, "Is this going to be on the test?" And then she turned to me, slightly horrified, and whispered, "Oh my god. I can't believe I just asked that."
I couldn't help but laugh, but only because I've been similarly surprised to discover just how quickly I've reverted back to my own past-student personality. At break Gail and I discussed how even though we have been out of school for years (and years, in her case) and even though we are in many ways very different people than we were in high school and college, and even though this is just EMT class and not medical school or something, we are the exact same students we've always been in the classroom.
I don't even necessarily want to be the way I am. As an educator, I've come to realize the overachieving straight-A approach isn't a healthy one for students, which is a topic for a different day, but the point is that it doesn't matter because I can't break away from that mindset. I cannot help but be the same student I've always been.
It seems this is the case for my fellow classmates as well. I definitely recognize the same basic classroom characters that I remember so well from my days sitting in a student desk...
The Goody-Goody. That would be me. And Paula. And Gail to some extent. But probably me the most. I like to ask questions. Frequently. Smart questions, not stupid ones - questions that demonstrate my superior grasp of the material. (That's not why I ask them; I ask them because I sincerely want to understand beyond the basics.) I also volunteer to do things in class, perhaps a wee bit too eagerly. And I enjoy helping other students understand, sometimes even interrupting the teacher's explanation when I realize what the other student isn't getting before the teacher fully comprehends. I am, admittedly, completely annoying.
The Know-It-All. But this person is more annoying. The Know-It-All feels compelled to correct the instructor constantly, pointing out every potential mistake. Except usually they are NOT mistakes and he just looks like an ass. And a dumb one, at that. On the rare occasion when his correction is correct, it is so insignificant as to not warrant even bringing up. Like, "Oh, actually, that rescue squad was founded in 1973, not 1971." ASS.
The Storyteller. This person has a story for everything, a personal anecdote that only peripherally (if at all) relates to the topic at hand. The first few times she started into a story, we all waited for the point, sure it would come, certain there was a relevant reason she'd blathered on for five minutes. Now when she opens her mouth, we all look down at our notebooks because we don't want to encourage her by giving eye contact. I'm not sure if she just likes to hear her own voice or if she actually thinks she is contributing to the conversation in some way. Which she's not.
The "Wait..." I try to be sympathetic to this person, because she's really trying. But for the love of god, you do not need to write down every word of the lecture! "Wait! Can you go back to the last slide? I wasn't finished with it yet." ARRGH! And then she'll ask a question that the instructor JUST answered. The instructor will patiently repeat herself, but it is all I can do not to snap my pencil in half. Obviously all of us miss stuff from time to time, but this person misses, like, 39% of what's said. And even when she is giving it her full focus, she will ask the most ridiculously ditzy questions. "Wait...So does 'water transport accident' mean that they were boiling a pot of water and burned themselves or something?" That is an actual question she asked. At which point I gripped the table in front of me to prevent myself from leaping up and shouting, "BOATING ACCIDENT! It basically means BOATING. ACCIDENT." She is so sincere, and I know I shouldn't dislike her for being a little stupid. But she is holding the rest of us back! And I have overachieving to accomplish here, hello!
There are also the token Gossip Girls who whisper back and forth during class and flip their hair and flirt with boys during break, and the usual Immature Boys who make lame jokes and try to create a sexual subtext for pretty much everything. In my EMT class these people are college students, and they're not that bad. I remember high school being much, much worse for this.
Some things are exactly the same as high school, though. For instance, it is impossible for a class not to giggle when discussing erections. I don't care if you're 16 or 60, a Goody-Goody or a Gossip Girl. If the topic is erections, we will all crack bad jokes and laugh, laugh, laugh.


farts are also good for a laugh.
I was about to feel all bad about giggling at double meanings, until I got to that last part about discussing erections. I am definitely more likely to giggle at something overtly sexual. The rest of the time I am too busy trying to write down what I think is important, not answer ANOTHER question (after a couple, I feel like my hand's always up), and NOT to space out too much when the Wait!s and Storytellers start in.
In high school, I wrote a lot of notes to my friends during class. I suspect that you are doing the same thing, except it's a blog post. And yeah, I plead the fifth on what kind of student I was. ;)
it is wrong of me to want to make out with you a little because you wrote that "obviously all of us miss stuff from time to time, but this person misses, like, 39% of what's said." the simple fact that you knew it was 39% and not, say, 42% is utterly adorable. john stamos with his perfect haircut with highlights and such would be mightly proud. nils, however, might heave a little in his mouth.
love you muchly!!! :-X
well, CRAP!!! that last comment was from me. and i was all PROUD of it and shit.
poo anon.
waaah I made it to klog's Hall of Taglines! Woot.
::klogger leaps off ground::
hmm...that one's tautological
::klogger leaps; outwits gravity::
Ahem. Umm...despite my skepticism I'd like to cautiously thank Tom and his Scientologist mates for canvassing support from the Galactic Confederacy. I am humbled that the extra-terrestrial vote outnumbered the super-delegate vote for Billary Clinton. And, without Kelly's secular dedication and support as klog's resident sponsor none of this would have been possible. Hall of Taglines people! Oh God. I'd like to acknowledge God. If W believes that God made him President then I believe that he believes that God believes that I'm a worthy Inductee into the Hall of Taglines. If nothing else, I must thank Halliburton, ExxonMobil and Fox News for making God happen. Thank you everyone, 'tis been a very good night. May God bring peace.
Note: No offence intended to Issac Newton and those religiously inclined. Throw no tomatoes, people.
P.S. Too bad Cate Blanchett didn't win.
Ohhhh you so would have hated me if I were in your classes.
I would be the story teller and the Wait person and the Immature Boy.
I wasn't any of those student types. I was the one sitting the back trying not to be noticed (or called on) while simultaneously trying to find something to occupy myself because I was SO. BORED. Although I did have a bit of Know-It-All in me, only I kept my corrections to myself during class.
Totally the girl I would sit at the back and snicker about. Or else I'd sit beside you and distract you the entire time.
I hate the "know it all" types. i find by the last day of class, the group is split evenly between those who want to pitch her out a second story window right now and those who want us to wait till they can get down to street level and watch her land.
Indeed, kristen.
I also try to space out the question answering, Jenski. Although when there's silence for too long, I cannot help but shoot my hand up.
You were an Immature Boy, right UCM? :)
Hee, Rz, I really did stop to consider the exact percentage of stuff she misses. Which is probably pathetic, but whatever. Love you muchly, too!
LOL, jane. Fox News indeed. Although you forgot to thank John Stamos, the deity of choice around here. :)
Depends on which grade, William. Cause I'm pretty sure in 1st grade I would have had a crush on you.
That was me in AP Government, geeky. I had no respect for the teacher and so became the back-of-the-class smart ass. No regrets, either. He was unworthy of my attention.
And by "distract you the entire time," nils, you mean "copy your test answers." No actually, I would have appreciated having Your Snarkiness sitting next to me. I could pull off both - as a Goody-Goody, there's a lot one can get away with.
I swear to you I am the queen of all Goody-Goodys. I'd give you a run for your money. You and I could never be in the same class I fear. And YES the Goody-Goody can get away with a LOT.