rumor has it
kelly | 18 December 2007 - 8:00pm
Yesterday at Target I ran into a good friend, JC, from high school. We see each other from time to time - not as often as we should, but enough that we know what's going on with each other.
He works with another guy who went to our high school, and JC told me that just the other day the two of them had been talking about former classmates - where they are, what they do, that sort of thing. And this guy, who was good friends with Rob in high school, commented to JC that he hadn't seen Rob in a long time, and then added, "I hear Kelly is pregnant."
When JC relayed this to me, I think I gasped. "What?!"
He chuckled and said, "Yeah, I told him I didn't think so. I said I hadn't seen you in awhile, but I was pretty sure that wasn't the case."
"Where would he hear such a thing?"
"I asked him, but he couldn't remember."
It's not a big deal, of course, but I am rather perplexed by how such a rumor would get started. I mean, there are some rumors that would not surprise me. Like that I am a stripper. Anyone who saw me walk into Rob's company party last week - wearing my hooker boots and a coat longer than my dress which totally made it look as though I didn't have anything on underneath - would assume I was there to provide entertainment. Totally understandable. I also wouldn't be surprised to learn that it's rumored we have 12 cats. Because, really, it's only a matter of time. Or to hear whispers that I'm having an affair with John Stamos...Okay fine, I'm totally the one who started that rumor.
But the pregnancy one has me flabbergasted. Who, huh, what? Maybe people just assume we're having a baby since we've been married for more than, oh, 3 weeks. Or maybe I've been confused with someone else? I keep coming back to this mystery, trying to figure out how this could have gotten started. And then today the thought hit me - what if someone saw me earlier this year and thought I looked pregnant?! Gah! I didn't think I was that squigy around the edges, but perhaps I should have been sucking it in.
For some reason I feel the need to set the record straight. A friend of mine, who has also been married for five years, recently did just that. I think every woman of childbearing age in her husband's family has recently announced a pregnancy, and so she felt the need to make things perfectly clear. And so at their Thanksgiving meal, she said, "I'd just like to announce that I'm not pregnant." It was a joke, and I'm sure everyone laughed. But I imagine it also did just what she intended, which was to stop them from wondering silently or asking aloud, "Are you pregnant yet?"
I think that was the smart way to go. Because apparently if we don't nip these things in the bud, people simply start rumors. As if saying it aloud WILL MAKE IT SO.
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Ach, the rumor mongers. I say, let 'em wonder. If it goes for months and months, it will become clear that you are not.
I find it fascinating that you are less concerned with being thought of as a stripper than you are with being thought of as pregnant. I have no conclusions to draw from this; it's just very interesting.
This is how rumors get started.
I was at the mall the other day and I could have sworn I saw Nils and Cat, from Desperate working Momma, making out by the food court. At first I didn't think it was them, but then as I passed Sbarro, which is where they were standing, they took a break from kissing to place their order and the guy, I swear it was Nilbo, said, "What Aboot a slice with canadian bacon eh?" and it was the way he said that I knew he must be canadian. And Cat she just giggled but I swear it was them.
We never did get to hear how the dress went over. Other than this little snippet. Somehow, I doubt that you looked like a stripper. Maybe a call girl.... ;-)
Just kidding. I had this image of the boots and skirt that Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman.
Ah, the old pregnancy question. Isn't it annoying? How terrible it would be if you'd been trying and trying - or trying and have miscarriages - and to be asked that question. I always think of that ever since I read Chez Miscarriage.
The rumor is an odd one though. You can't really chalk it up to someone overhearing you wrongly, because it isn't like you are at work or somewhere where you would likely be overheard by someone who knows you.
Puzzling.
For the record, I entirely endorse William's rumour. It can only help build my reputation.
wait. you have twelve cats?! how in the world does a stripper (and her pimp, big john stamos) have time to take care of twelve cats?! especially a pregnant stripper. wow.
I was in CANADA?! For REAL?! Aw, man... I miss EVERYTHING.
I started the rumor...MERRY CHRISTMAS!
;-)
So the roofies worked. Brilliant.
Wow, you and Rob are the center of a very active baby rumor mill! Time to get a t-shirt that has something clever on it. "I'll let you know if I'm ever pregnant...or not." or "Still not pregnant, thanks for not asking." or "If you think I'm pregnant, my diet isn't working so well." or "My 12 cats and John Stamos keep me busy enough, why would I have time for a baby." or "If I were pregnant, that wouldn't be good for my stripping job."
That is too funny! At least JC had enough sense not to believe it. Maybe someone saw you wearing your pregnant shirt for a 1/2 of a split second as you were ducking behind a clothing fixture hiding from them in Target, and then just assumed that since you have been married for FIVE years and are of child-bearing age, you MUST be pregnant. I mean WHO wouldn't be?
I was actually talking to my dad on the phone last night, and asked him if my brother had talked to one of his best friends from high school recently because I had heard from someone who had heard from someone who had heard from someone that this friend was getting a divorce. And THAT is how these things get started in Redneck Valley!
well.... i'd say it's the mere fact that you've been married for awhile. i start to question my friends after about 2 years. and it's just what everyone expects. you should christmas cards with messages like "babyless for now and the new year."