typical list of chores to be completed during hour before dinner guests arrive
kelly | 8 July 2007 - 9:39pm
- frantically weed flower beds (only necessary if guests include gardening-guru mother-in-law)
- vacuum sofa and chair (only necessary if guests include cat-allergic father-in-law)
- dust dining room chair seats to remove accumulated cat fur
- put out clean set of placemats; if set is in laundry, flip current ones to other side; if other side has food stains, flip back over, arrange placemats so that dirtiest one is at own seat, and hope guests don't notice
- clean kitchen counters; return a few minutes later to discover paw prints all over damp surface; yell at cats, then clean counters again (repeat)
- gather magazines, unopened mail, post-it notes, etc that are strewn about and shove into bedroom closet; if closet is already crammed full, stack under bed
- walk through house and close doors to all rooms that cannot be saved
- sweep!
- mop kitchen and then repeatedly walk across wet floor because everything that needs to be done happens to require a trip to or through kitchen and there is no time to wait!
- wave kitchen door back and forth to get air moving so house won't smell like liquid floor cleaner and guests will assume house is always this immaculate and not that cleaning occurred just because they were coming over
- pause for glass of wine (repeat)
- clean bathroom sink and toilet; pull shower curtain closed, but first check drain for hair as certainly somebody will be nosy enough to inspect shower for cleanliness (feel slight twinge of guilt for having, in the past, done this very thing)
- respond to husband's "I'm on my way home" phone call with desperate "Hurry!"
- remove baking pan from under cats' water bowl, for purpose of catching spills, because looks tacky (unless guests include mother-in-law, who suggested baking-pan-solution)
- switch table centerpiece to one that was gift from brother (only necessary if guests include brother)
- prepare plate of cheese and crackers for guests to munch on (and so as to appear as if there's been plenty of spare time)
- shoo cats away from cheese (repeat)
- assign husband to salad-making and any remaining food-related tasks when he arrives home
- hide all dirty cooking items in dishwasher, oven (if not being used for food preparation), refrigerator, microwave, pantry, etc
- scold cat who has, in past five minutes, made it a point to lie on Every Single Placemat
- lint roll placemats
- wipe canister lids which get dusty because canisters are empty and so never used, but kept on counter because they look nice
- windex windows where cats sit and leave nose prints
- pause to consider how much less cleaning would be required if there were no cats (feel slight twinge of guilt for momentarily liking idea of life without cats)
- cut flowers for vase
- straighten welcome mat so it is perfectly aligned with door
- run into bedroom to change into decent clothes upon hearing guests pull into driveway
all comments photoblog
Hee...you're even more of a perfectionist this way than I am. What I'm usually doing (aside from some of the ones on your list) is scrubbing the ring in the toilet bowl, making my bed (because there are times people have had reason to go in there, but only if I DON'T make it), and dust-bustering the cat hair off the sofa (which comes off fairly well with the dust-buster, but shows far worse on these new sofas than it ever did on my comfy old tweedy looking sofa.)
Oh, and the sweeping, oh holy heck with the freaking hardwood floors. My Swiffers (large and small) are my best friends.
Man, it's times like these that make me wish I had a pussy.
Cat. Cat, people.
noseprints on the window - that's so cute
If you can truly accomplish all of that in an hour, than I BOW DOWN before you, for you are truly a cleaning goddess. When we have company, our bedroom and office doors are almost always closed. :)
(Re: your last bliss bits; I LOVE fireflies. I wish we had them out west.)
JUst think of the time you could save if you did not have cats.
Does your bedroom window, where you're changing at the last minute, face your driveway? Just wondering where to watch for the peep show if I ever end up there for dinner. (Granted, I'd walk in, see the cat on the dining room table and say "Let's go eat out.")
You are a better person than I...I gave up on placemats a LONG time ago, what with 3 kids and TWO cats....
This is why I do not have dinner parties. Drinking parties...that is another story. Give me appetizers and beer any day.
Except for the cat stuff, that is exactly my routine. Plus the quick toilet bowl wipe. Oh yeah, and I hide the diapers and wipes that are usually lying around.
And that would be why I never invite people over. Or cook for them. the STRESS!!
this post made me feel so much better about myself... and my total lack of day-to-day cleanliness or organization that leads to that frantic "MUST CLEAN AND INSPECT ENTIRE HOUSE NOW" frenzy that occurs right before guests arrive.
We haven't entertained in over 4 months with the kitchen addition. Now that we're going to have this fabulous kitchen in a matter of days at our (read my) disposal, the stakes have suddenly been raised and I will most likely be doing a frantic version of this very list. Which is a shame since a domestic goddess I am not.