lapses
kelly | 8 August 2006 - 11:19pm
- I lost my yoga mat. Before leaving on the trip, I stashed it away since I wouldn't be using it for awhile. I remember putting it somewhere - I just can't remember where I put it. I've looked in my closet and in both guest room closets and under my bed (I never put anything there) and in the pantry (I put everything there) and in the trunk of my car and in the garage and in the basement and even among the holiday decorations which was a final desperate (and ridiculous) last-ditch search party effort. I think my only option is to go to Target and buy a new one, because surely as soon as I do that, the old one will appear.
- This evening as I was leaving work I realized that I forgot to wear a bra today.
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boo.
yay.
I've only ever forgot to wear a bra once and that was in the ninth grade. I remember I was so embarassed and didn't want to let anyone near me and then a classmate tried to give me a hug, but I wouldn't let her and I looked like a total freak backing away. (What's with teenage girls and all the hugging anyway? I didn't even get it then to be honest.)
There's no way on this earth I would be able to forget to put one on these days and if I did it would be one scary sight.
Half of your readers will hate you for being able to forget to wear a bra. The rest of us just love you for telling us you did forget, thereby reaffirming that, if we wait long enough, something wonderful COULD happen in our lives.
#1 Check upstairs. It HAS to be upstairs. Wait, do cats did holes and hide things in them?
#2 PICTURES PLEASE!
That would be dig, not did. And yes, I know that cats dig holes and put poop in them. Let's hope that they didn't set the mat down in the hole next to it.
I must admit...I'm very confused about the bra thing. How? Wha? Who? HUH?
You didn't feel that something just didn't feel normal as you were walking out the door? What did Dubai DO to you, babe?!
lyme.
As soon as I read the first sentence ("I lost my yoga mat."), I thought, well, the best way to find it is just to go buy a new one...and then of course USE the new one, so you can't return it. Big Boy lost a pair of water shoes last week. We spent DAYS looking for them, turning the house upside down, looking in all the places Big Boy loves to hide things...they were GONE. We went to Wal-Mart last weekend to pick up a few things; they had the water shoes on clearance, so we picked up another pair...and of course Big Boy wanted to WEAR them home, which was just long enough to get them good and sweaty. We got home, walked in the door, and - I shit you not - Deputy Dad walked straight into the living room and picked the damn shoes up out of a laundry basket of (clean, but unfolded) clothes that had been sitting there a few days. (Yeah, so I was way behind on folding laundry. Shut up.)
That being said, did you in the closet, behind all the shoes? In the linen closet? In the basement, in that spot where the fish tank used to be?
P.S. I am choosing not to comment on the bra situation, simply because I hate you a little bit (just a teeny bit! Smooches!) for being able to get away with that.
Ahem. That should, of course, be, "did you LOOK in the closet..."
Geez.
If I was a yoga mat I would probably be next to the washer and dryer. Maybe I ould have accidentally fallen inbetween them.
If I was your bra, I would not have let you forget me.
nilbo is right, i hate you for being able to go a whole day without knowing you didn't have a bra on. i mean, come on, how could that be possible??? i know yours aren't double ds, but they're big enough to realize there's nothing between them and your blouse. (right?)
i feel the presence of that damn bra every minute it is on me and the most glorious part of my day is when i get home, unsnap it, and throw it to the ground in one glorious act of freedom.
i'm also with doreen- what the fuck did dubai do to you? :)
speaking of bras, i have some very risque pictures you & i took together in high school, along with a very funny pic of rob & i. they are beyond amusing. i would like to send them to you for laughs but you have to PROMISE they will not end up on here.
that was me above and i accidentally used the word glorious twice. oops.
just goes to show just how glorious taking off the bra is.
i'm still trying to figure out why you'd want to kill nilbo with all this talk of running around (and believe me, he's picturing you actually running around, kinda like the "baywatch" chics) without a bra on all day long. what did the poor old dude do to deserve this torture?!
ah, the power of us women, eh? ;)
Less a run, more a shimmy kind of thing. And when I'm that old that something like a forgotten bra on a young girl kills me, I want to die anyway. I'll go with a smile, and hopefully mouthing the words "Ladies, that was wonderful."
Okay, here is how the bra thing happened. I was trying to decide what to wear. I will sometimes try on several shirts in a morning, and I don't put on a bra to do this because which bra I wear depends upon which shirt I choose. That morning, I settled on wearing a tank top beneath a blouse. The tank top had a shelf, you know? For the boobs? While pouring my coffee I remembered that I hadn't actually put on a bra yet, but then it slipped my mind again. And I am dismayed that my breasts are of such small stature that I apparently don't even need to wear a bra.
And the yoga mat has still not been located.