acute haircut crisis
kelly | 20 April 2006 - 10:26am
Since when are hair stylists allowed to take a freaking vacation without prior notice? Because I definitely called to schedule an appointment and I was definitely told that my stylist is on vacation. For two weeks. Two weeks! That's practically half a lifetime in haircut years!
I mean, can she do that? Can she just up and vacate without warning me? Because, hello! I have a freaking haircut schedule to maintain here! Not to mention my cute haircut with highlights reputation! Plus I have work meetings to lead and social outings to attend and Target shopping to do and general charm to exude. How the hell am I supposed to do any of that with shaggy hair? I get my power from my hair! You know, like Samson. Except different, because dude's strength was in having much hair, whereas mine is in having cute hair. (Can I just say? If I'd authored the Old Testament, I'd have made that story a lesson about quality over quantity. And about choosing the right stylist.)
I mean, I don't expect a personal phone call or anything. Wait, you know what, yes I do. I expect a goddamn personal phone call! (Ooh, that reminds me! Hot Yoga Instructor decided to cancel Sunday's class since it was Easter. She sent me an email AND called our house. I answered the phone and she was all, "Kelly?" You know, all flirty, with a slight lilt in her voice for the "ly?" part. God, she would be so good at phone sex.) I mean, considering the exorbitant tips I pay her (I'm back to the hair stylist - you with me?) I think she owes me a personal phone call. AND a postcard from wherever the hell she's vacationing because my highlights alone probably paid for her plane ticket.
And considering I've made her pinky-promise to never ever leave the area (unless I move, of course, in which case I'd pay her relocation fees), she should KNOW that I would not react well to her up and leaving for two weeks. You know, without notice! Right at the very time the cute haircut with highlights is reaching its expiration date! What was she thinking?!
In two weeks I'm totally going to look like I live with wolves. People will be all, "Check out that over there. She totally looks like she lives with wolves."
Gah.
- 885 reads
all comments photoblog
The women are all "Oh, I totally feel her on the hairdresser going away, that would just destroy me."
The men are all "What does she mean "God, she'd be so good at phone sex"? What constitutes "so good" at phone sex? And how does Kelli know?"
But yeah, uh, I'm totally feelin' ya on the hairdresser thing, girl. I guess.
Just a thought--what if Rob attempts to cut and highlight your hair? I mean, you know, if you're short on posts and need something to blog about, because that would be a post! However, Rob is usually pretty darn good at whatever he attempts. Might turn out to be a good thing!
Aw damn. I never thought about it before, but I'm so thankful now that my hairdresser makes sure to tell me months in advance about her vacations coming up.
I'm going to go sit in the corner and cry for you now.
My guess, and this may make you more a bit more out of joint, is that she is acutally on a two week Swimming with Dolphins Vacation.
I wouldn't have this problem. If my hairdresser went on a vacation, I'd wonder how an electric clipper with a #3 guard managed to buy a plane ticket.
'Course, he only checks in every 6 months or so anyway.
you totally forgot to link to this post, which completely, ummm, highlights just how much you actually, ummm, need her. in the most sexual sense of the word, of course. ;)
William is right. She's with me, and even as I sit here in the beach chair, patiently waiting for her to return from swimming with the dolphins in the bay )and have a few sips of the roofie colada I mixed up for her so that maybe I might, for once, get lucky), I think "Gee - her hair looks perfect. Not ragged at all. THIS woman does NOT live with wolves."
I like that in a woman. Cute hair with highlights. If only she could remember ever seeing me on TV. Hell, if only ANYONE could ...
Wow, John Stamos, you're really self-deprecating today... and you appear to be sharing a blog with Nilbo, for some reason. Is that a new arrangement?
And roofie coladas, huh? Ever try that on the Olsen twins? Just curious.
William is such a bastard.
A loveable, farting bastard, but a bastard nonetheless.
Nilbo, I don't see how you could possibly relate to the hairdresser thing because I don't suppose you've needed to go to one for years. (Yeah, I know - I'm a bitch. Just getting you back for the whore comment.) ;) In fact, I anticipated this and so I put the phone sex remark in there just for you - you know, so you'd have something you could identify with.
doreen, there are so many things I've gone along with in the past year because of the justification "Well, if nothing else it'll be a good blog post." And no, that does not mean I'm even slightly considering your suggestion. :)
See?! What ieatcrayonz's stylist does? THAT'S what mine should do! MONTHS in advance, people! That allows for proper planning and avoids the Lives With Wolves look! (Crayola, you're playing air violin for me too, aren't you?)
Yeah, that would be SO totally like the universe, William! (You get the Best Comment Award - cracked my shit up.)
michael, Rob doesn't have this problem either. His hairdresser brings him along on vacation.
Okay yes, Rz, that is actually the real reason I'm so uptight about this. A girl can only go so long without The Shampooing! ;)
Stud Stamos, you are, in fact, the reason I am so obsessed about the cute haircut with highlights. Because I know how much you appreciate good hair (or, at least, how much Uncle Jesse appreciated good hair - which, really, same diff).
michael, my understanding is that Nilbo shares his blog with Stamos in exchange for Stamos seeing to it that Nilbo is the top MSNSearch hit for "John Stamos." (Of course, why anyone would aspire to that is beyond me...)
ieatcrayonz, I know, right?! Especially the lovable part.
Oh my! I'm so sorry. That just bites- because a woman cannot just GO to anyone for a haircut. It takes forever- and some shitty do's- to find just the right person.
Hugs to you!
I just read your last post- clicked on the link, read the secrets post, clicked on that link, there are 635 hits for this...sport in my zip code! I'm shocked. Holy crap. Ok, thats all I had.
I feel for ya. My stylist does give notice for her vacations but then goes away for MONTHS! Once she got into a car accident and was out of commission for ages. I looked like I was pulled through a hedge backwards that time.
sob - The roots alone. This vacation is totally unacceptable. You must find her.
I feel for you; I get so freaked when I can't get my haircut when it's time. You do have the cutest haircut and highlights, it's what keeps bringing me back.
I have to admit that I've never been one to keep up with the haircut every six weeks thing, but I still feel for you!
This has happened to me more times than I can count. My hairdresser was from Ireland, so when he would go back to visit family he'd go back for a LONG time. And of course, I'd never think to call ahead, so I was always trying to get an appointment when my hair was past the point of no return anyway and then I'd have to add 3 weeks on top of it. 2 weeks for his vacation and 1 week to actually get in and see him, since everyone else was having the same issue.
ugh.
My hairdresser in MN is pregnant. I guess I'll have to deal with her going on maternity leave at some point too. ugh.
I feel your pain and panic.
Heh. You so weird, girl.
What does it mean that I was fixated on the "she'd be good at phone sex" thing? Huh, Kel? Nilbo? Thoughts?
Call me, Cat. We'll talk it through ...
I have it on the best of authority that Nilbo wants a phone enema.
You'll have to work out the logistics amongst yourselves.
I have to admit that I look shaggy more often than not because I just don't follow a haircut schedule, unless you count "harvest time" as a schedule.
Well, Mowgli from the Jungle book was raised by wolves, and his little jungle pageboy haircut was totally cute.
No highlights, though.
Hi lawbrat! Yeah, I'm definitely not going to someone else while she's gone...I'll just have to wait it out. :( And you should totally take your boys geocaching - they would love it!
Months?! Good lord, Kranki, that is unacceptable! I guess I'm a high-maintenance client (big surprise, right?) but I could not tolerate extended absences!
Well fortunately, mrtl, I got re-highlit last time, so the roots are good to go. But still, yes - I must find her. Make her cut my hair in Malibu if I have to.
That's what keeps you coming back, kristen? LOL. :)
Truth is, I don't stick to an exact schedule either, Bente. One day (usually around 6 weeks) I just look in the mirror and say, "Good lord! The cute haircut is out of control!" And then I call her and get an appointment for the next day. Or, in this case, for two weeks later. Grrr.
Danielle, stylists should not be allowed to live in Ireland or get pregnant. That is all. ;)
Coming from you, cat, that's a compliment. Hee.
I totally knew you were going to say that, Nilbo.
Yeah, I don't do enemas, Bucky. But sponge baths I'm totally into.
Aw, he did have a totally cute pageboy, Amy. I used to have a pageboy as a little kid - but I don't think I pulled it off quite as well.