wtf? tuesday: stupid sunglasses display mirror strips
kelly | 21 March 2006 - 7:14pm
What the fuck is the deal with the mirrors you must look into when shopping for sunglasses? You know, the mirror strips that go down each side of the turny displays of sunglasses? The mirrors that are THE WIDTH OF ONE'S NOSE?
How the hell am I supposed to see myself in that? I happen to be particularly vain about my sunglasses. They need to be just right. In fact, I find sunglasses WAY harder to shop for than swimsuits. No, really. Especially considering I can't fucking SEE what I fucking LOOK LIKE in the fucking mirrors. Granted, if you step back about 10 feet, you are able to see your entire face in the mirror. But at that distance, it is impossible to examine the sunglasses at the detail that sunglasses need to be examined pre-purchase.
But if you stand in front of the mirror close enough to actually see the sunglasses, you can't see anything! Maybe one eye, at the most. Which is clearly not enough. I mean, hello! The whole point is to see how certain pairs of sunglasses look on my face but I CANNOT SEE MY FACE! Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to have people look at five-inch-wide sunglasses in an inch-wide mirror? And why the hell does the mirror run all the way to the floor? I don't need to see my fucking kneecap. What I need to see are the SUNGLASSES.
So I either end up leaning sideways and tilting my head in alignment with the mirror or I stand up straight and move my head really fast, side to side, with the hopes of getting a vague idea of what my face might perhaps look like with the glasses on. Both techniques are utterly uncool. And the whole reason I wear sunglasses is to look cool, and so I usually end up buying none because, given what I have to do to sorta see myself, I always look ridiculous in the inch-wide glimpse I get.
And then...then, some price tags are attached right smack dab in the middle of the sunglasses! And the tag won't budge, won't even move the slightest bit out of the way. And of course the tag is huge and takes up the ENTIRE viewing space, such that all I can see when I look in the mirror is what the bridge of my nose looks like when adorned by a price tag. How fucking stupid is that?
But what's really fucking stupid are those skinny-ass mirrors.
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ummm, duh! everyone knows you have to do the breaststroke and the downward dog in front of that skinny mirror to get any real action!!! perhaps even a strut or two.
All the sunglasses mirrors I've encountered have been wide enough, but they have never gone to the floor and are up so high that I, being short, can't even see my face. I usually end up having to resort to using other sunglasses on the rack to look at myself and that just isn't right.
What, you don't keep a full length mirror in your purse like the rest of us? A pair of scissors might help with the other problem. :P
I soooooooo totally agree with you about those stupid skinny mirrors. I've always thought those were useless, I mean what's the point of even having them.
I just read about your vacation, and bathing suit dilema. Congrats on both! :) Have fun girlie.
Good GOD. You're like crack. I just can't stop coming back for more! Scratch that... You're like DOUGHNUTS... I wish I could quit you!
(Okay, to be completely accurate, the actual quote should be "You are too much for me [Kelly], you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I could quit you!" but, you know, it's just not quite as funny that way, now is it? Huh. Whatev.)
That being said, I knew there was a reason why I never buy any sunglasses! Damn those skinny ass mirrors. Damn them to hell.
totally agree.... almost as annoying as color-blind hairstylists... but i see you read about that experience and i apreciate your big hug... i mean, really, what is wrong with this world??? :)
First, a story:
On a trip to San Antonio with my dad years ago, we went to some sort of museum that was a combination of Wax Museum and Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum. In the Ripley's area, one of the first exhibits we saw was a mirror on the wall, surrounded by pictures of folks doing odd things with their faces. The sign on the mirror challenged the guest to make the same faces. So we spent several minutes in front of that mirror, contorting our faces into all manner of strange, grotesque and silly images.
The last exhibit we encountered, after we'd been through all the rooms of the museum, was a framed "picture" with a sign that read something like "Strangest Creatures on Earth" (or something). Can you guess what it was? Have you gotten ahead of me?
Yeah. That mirror in the early exhibit? Was a two-way mirror. Which meant that someone was likely watching us making all those weird faces.
So, guess what I was thinking when you mentioned leaning your head to the side, moving it back and forth really fast, etc.? Hmm...Maybe the reason those mirrors are so skinny is because they're two-way mirrors with little video cameras behind them, and someone is just CRACKING UP at all the weird faces people make and the ways they contort their bodies to try to see the sunglasses!
Hee.
RZ. said it, with the downward dog pose.
I buy all my sunglasses at the dollar store. I buy five or six pairs and then I bring them home to check out the cool factor. Then if they do not look right it only cost me a dollar.
They make those skinny mirrors so that guys can sense the frustration of little hottie sunglasses buyers and "help them" by providing commentary.
Raz beat me to it, but I bet you also need to see what the sunglasses look like when you slip them up into your hair, look over the tops of them, side view, and with your "I'll have a bigass drink with a couple of umbrellas and a damn fruit salad in it, please" look.
hmmmmm.... I think you need to tell me how you really feel about those mirrors.
You seem to be, holding back. ;-)
I hear you. The last time I bought sunglasses the mirror was so bad that it was like looking in foil.