so you can all share in my outrage
kelly | 20 January 2006 - 4:48pm
Guess who is the #6 MSN search result for John Stamos? NILBO. Yeah, the man who hates John Stamos, the man who embraces every possible opportunity to sacrilegiously mock His Heinieness. Number 6!!! (And he doesn't even mention John Stamos in his motherfucking post! What the fuckity fuck fuck is going on?!)
You can just imagine how completely pleased Nilbo was to share this news with me. Dude is the king of giddy gloating, I can tell you that. But seriously, how am I supposed to believe that there is still good in the world when seriously fucked up shit like this happens?! I mean, if this isn't a bitch slap from the universe then I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
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King of giddy gloating indeed. In fact, I would add "Insufferable" King of Giddy Gloating. Let's make it a new title for Nilbo. He excitedly informed me of his discovery and then waited at the bottom of the stairs to hear if I laughed or not at your (very justified) rage.
(I laughed a little. I'm sorry, but man, that's some funny shit.)
Look, I'm just grateful someone remembered my name and cared to do a search for me. Oblivion sucks. If this Jake in Progress thing continues to tank, I won't have enough star points to get on The Surreal Life. They'll be all like "OK, if Flava Flav AND Ron Jeremy BOTH cancel, we'll have a look at what we can do."
Ooops. Gotta go. Shopping Mall in Encino wants me to judge a beauty pageant. Catch you later!
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nilbo, come clean. Did you embed some sort of code in your website? Because the word STAMOS is not even on that PAGE. How could you be in the results for JOHN STAMOS? when all you said was "John" somebody? You couldn't possibly be the number 6 result for the search "John". You must be cheatin'!
Well this just PROVES that there is nothing even REMOTELY scientific about MSN (and I don't put stock in non-scientific crap). And just MAYBE, it proves that they sold their soul to various and sundry dark lords. Or Nilbo did. Hmmm, the latter sounds fairly likely as well....
Oh, and JOHN STAMOS!
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
MSN is a piece of poo. With an agenda. Unlike certain Canadian bloggers, I"m sure.... *sarcasm in voice*
It's the universe telling you to love Dr. Luka Kovac and not John Stamos. Join me Kalki. Join the side of light.
Here's my theory, as I submitted earlier to Kelly:
You know how sometimes you want to do a Google search for, say, Angelina Jolie Naked Pics, and you accidentally type "Angelina Jole" and the Search engine asks you: "Are you sure you didn't mean "Angelina Jolie"?
And of course, unstated in that question is "... because the only Angelina Jole we have is a 44 year old mother of six kids who lives in a double-wide outside of Poughkeepsie, New York and we, the Search Engine people, are pretty damn sure you don't want naked pics of her because the only reason she appears on Google at all is for her victory in the New York State Fair Blueberry Pie-Eating Contest where she inhaled seven blueberry pies in 2 minutes and eight seconds and she looks from her pictures that she is the kind of woman who does this on a regular basis, if you get our drift."
Well ...
My guess is that someone entered "John Stamos" in the MSN Search engine, baffled that anybody should actually be searching for THAT name, instead assumed that they were looking for a different John. So it was "Are you sure you're looking for John STAMOS ...?" and unsaid is ".... because seriously ... John Stamos?"
But hey .. whatever. #6. Chew on that. Heeheehee.
I'm just hoping that I never have to explain why I did a google search, yahoo search, and msn search for John Stamos.
Shit just ain't right.
OH MAN! What a kick in the cyber goulies.
I am pretty sure this is a biblical sign of the end of the world..
ROARING LAUGHTER!
Nilbo is my hero.
It's a shame that the entire MSN Search community will be so misled about John Stamos. They'll both really be missing out.
By the way, folks, If you want to help Kelly get back on top, the best way is not to add Stamos comments, but to link to her site... like this:
<a href="http://klog.imjustsaying.org:81/">John Stamos</a>
That's what Google really likes, and I'm sure MSN is the same way. This is the mechanism behind the famous miserable failure Google bomb.
Alright, I'm adding it to my blog. I can't believe I am doing it, but I am. I want you to be the first for the search.
Come on everyone!
Kalk..did you read my post about your pictures???
I think she should have to EARN her ranking the way I did - by having a totally unrelated post about a completely different person on her blog.
I mean, play fair, is all I'm sayin' ....
LOVE the new tagline. one of the best so far; very clever indeed.
Nuh-FREAKING-uh! Bitch-slap, fo' rizzle!!
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
John Stamos
for nilbo's info, klog is number 37 in google search results for "john stamos." thirty.seven. and if we all do what michael suggested, you'll go waaay up.