hypothetically
kelly | 12 January 2006 - 12:50pm
How exactly should one respond when one's husband lets it slip that sometimes when he comes home from work even later than usual (which, in your opinion, is too late as it is) it is not because of a long meeting or due to the fact that he is swamped, as you thought, but is in fact because after-hours he has been playing Flight Simulator?
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I would say an "Oh no you di'in't!" (in the voice of Queen Latifah) and a "No nookie for you!" (in the voice of the Soup Nazi) are definitely in order. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
Hypothetically speaking, I would say something like, "Awww, it's so nice you can take some time just for you, to unwind, to slip the focus from the day to day stuff, to have some time when your brain doesn't need to be fully engaged. I do that with X and Y and Z ... it's my time, just for me, and it's important we have that so when we ARE together, we're fully engaged. If you think I'm waiting dinner on you or something, a call would be nice. But other than that, let's always make sure that we set aside time for ourselves as individuals. It makes us stronger as a team."
You know, hypothetically speaking.
Make him dinner and rub his back?
There are too many men replying to this post. Go away, your vote does not count.
How about...
"To the bed, MISTER! I'll be there in a minute to mete out your punishment!"
Hopefully that will remind him to put the pedal to the metal and his his arse home sooner.
Um, burst into tears and wail, "OH GOD! Don't you LUUUUUUUUUUUV me anymore?! Is it ME?! WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?! Why, Rob?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" and drop down and cling onto his leg a bit, all the while sniffling and wiping your nose on his pants?
But be sure to capture it all on film because I bet that would be some funny shizz.
That said... dude. Are we SURE Rob and TGIM aren't related? Because DAMN! Sounds familiar. But I lost out to freaking Minesweeper. MINESWEEPER! That's, like, not even animated! GOSH!
REDRUM
"Flight Simulator"???? I'll show you MY flight simulator buddy!!!!!
I like the get to bed idea. Show him what he's missing out on!
theoretically speaking, i would punch him in his man-boobs and then give him a wedgie.
next i'd tell him he could simulate certain other things (solo, of course) for the rest of the week.
finally.........i'd probably make him dinner and rub his back. love'll do that to ya.
In all seriousness, I would guess he needed some alone time but maybe wasn't sure how to explain that to you. (I'm someone who needs such alone time!) I WOULD, however, ask to be called, like Nilbo said, if he's not doing that already. (I'm also someone who's married to someone who used to habitually show up a half hour late when I was trapped with a screaming kid and NOT bother to call :) )
As long as he's cool with the idea of you having alone time when you can, if you want it!
You should tell him it's time to buy a sex simulator.
My response (you know, hypothetically):
1. Double eyebrow raise paired with incredulous expression that slowly morphed into my Bitch Wife look.
2. "TELL ME you didn't just say what I think you just said."
(Then, after protests that "It doesn't happen that often!")...
3. "Well, at least you're not fucking Catherine Zeta Jones."
(And then much later in the evening after the shock had sufficiently worn off)...
4. "You know, if you want to take actual pilot lessons, you should totally do that. Really." (Yes, I am the perfect wife. Thank you for noticing.)
I would like to say that I think cat has cameras set up in my house because that leg-clinging thing is totally what I do in the mornings when I don't want him to get out of bed.
Yeah, I'd have to say that as long as the "flight simulator" doesn't wear bunny ears and a corset, probably ain't no big thang....
But I'd say that AFTER I bitched melodramatically, of course.
Nilbo you are the wisest.
Where were you ten years ago when I was married and got in trouble for playing twenty minutes of minesweeper?
"Did you kick ass? You're such a badass. I'm so glad you can relax a litte..." It'll make him want you.
I dunno, CM ... married and catching shit for PGA Tour Golf?
As a single girlie I don't feel that I should comment. But I am sure learning a lot though. For the future. In case I get married.
I would find my own little game to play.
I love that you told him he could take pilot lessons! My hubby is addicted to Call of Duty. What do I say to that? "Oh-kay, you can go back in time if you want and fight on the beaches of Normandy. Just unload the dishwasher before you go."
Amy, I LOLed at that. Kalki, I think the flying lessons offer is super-dee-dooper. (Barney thinks so too; that's where I learned to talk like that.) Mostly, I liked Cat's comment; specifically the part about wiping your nose on his pants leg. I find that is always useful for making a statement -- any number of various statements, really.
I'm shocked, really. Horrified, in fact! It is never a wise idea to withold sex as punishment. You women should know that. I'm surprised Susie didn't call y'all out on that!
I like the idea of reminding him what he's missing much better. That way everybody wins!
(Note that not wanting to have sex because you are hurt/upset is different than WITHOLDING sex as punishment.)
Why doesn't your Remember Me button like to remember me?
Anyway...As long as Flight Simulator isn't like that joke, Pickle Slicer.
You know what I mean???
You respond by giving him a super atomic wedgie, a titty twister and then presenting your feet for proper rubbing.
I sometimes linger after hours as well. However, when I do it's just inertia, because I hate stopping in the middle of things. It might be work-related, and it might not... just whatever I'm doing at 4:45.
But I'm not allowed to play games at work. If I could play games at work, I'm sure I'd stay after hours to do that, too.
I play Quake 3 every Sunday night with some friends... I'm sure Grace would rather I didn't, but at least I play in the same room with her now, and she's a good sport about it. So I'm wondering, what's your attitude toward him playing computer games in general? Maybe he feels like you disapprove of the games and he'd rather not play at home...
OK, Ern, I'll opine on that. You are correct, sex is not to be used as a weapon, as a unit of currency, as though it were part of some marital economy, etc. That's what is true, that's what is healthy. And most people use it in those ways, anyhow.
HA! Okay, I'm emerging from lurking long enough to say -- I KNEW it wasn't that traffic was so bad that all of a sudden you started getting home an hour later, Michael! And you thought I wasn't going to see the comments because I have been using RSS, but our RSS feed is broken, so here I am, and here you are, and had I seen this earlier, Rose's naptime would have definitely been put to a different use.
And Kelly, I would have reacted the same way!
Off with his head!
Not really, but it sounded good.
Umm,
I am guilty of the same exact thing, except I don't play video games. (Haven't since that one time I played Lady Pac Man in 8th grade).
I read blogs. And chill. I need a lot of time to myself, to process things and breathe. I'm often late coming home. Though I am getting better about it - and my man is getting better about letting me have my own space at home.
I wouldn't punish him. But having an open conversation about what he wants may freak him out, unless he is better about communicating than I am or my man is.
I think I like Nilbo's idea best.
Grace, you caught me. I HAVE been playing video games at work all this time. My favorite is the one called "Gridlock Simulator." It's so realistic, I actually thought I WAS sitting in traffic.
I say take a picture of yourself lying on your bed in *HOT* lingerie and when he gets home too late, show him the pic so he knows what he missed! I also like the idea of pretending you don't care - I'm sure the reverse psychology would work. Good luck!
Hypothetically speaking what would you do if your hubby told you you wouldn't have any fun with him in Malaysia?? Read this! http://suzoates.blogspot.com/2006/01/you-wont-have-any-fun-hunny.html
You could also just post the above suggested *HOT* photo here. I'm not exactly sure how, but I think that would solve everyone's problems.
Hypothetically, I'd have to kick his ass!
Hypothetically, of course.