consider me a very satisfied customer
kelly | 22 December 2005 - 5:07pm
Yesterday our Christmas present came! Instead of being from Santa, it was from Amazon. And instead of flying reindeer, it was delivered by UPS. And instead of being under the tree we never did put up, it was left for us on the front porch. (You know, come to think of it, Santa is pretty much obsolete these days, huh?)
Maybe it's just me, but this camera feels very phallic. I mean, look at it - is that one well-hung camera or what? (For those of you actually interested, that's a 24-120mm VR lens, not the 18-55mm kit lens). I hold the camera and wrap my hand around that lens and just stroke it. It's got good weight, you know? I zoom it in and out, in and out. Fiddle a little with the focus, get the shot just right. Ooh, a little to the left. Ooh, deeper zoom. Deeper. Deeper. And then when everything is ready, at just the right moment - RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE YES! YES! YES! - the shutter releases. Ahhhh...this baby can perform.
To take the photo above, I pulled out Dakoda, our point-and-shoot Kodak that has been very good to us. And he felt so small in my hands. So toylike. It was a bit pathetic, really. Shooting with him was like having sex with a 15 year-old. (It's just a simile, people - I'm not saying I've ever done that.) But that's what it was like after being with the Nikon. Dakoda sure was trying hard, but he just didn't know what I wanted and didn't have the advanced skills anyway. His only technique is to grab boobs, whereas the Nikon hits the G-spot. Over and over and over again.
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Fine. Go with the new cam. "Oh, he's so big, oh, he's such a manly man, oh, he's so studly."
Just remember, when you're fiddling around with the focus and the bells and the whistles and the settings and the F stop and the zoom this and wide-angle that, I would have been out, taken the damn picture, and be back in your pocket and you could have been on with your day.
You'll be back, bitch. You'll come crawling to me saying "Oh, we're so sorry, Oh, please, he's so complicated, oh, the learning curve ..."
And I will laugh.
Sex with a 15 year old, indeed. Good luck with Mr. Chubby. I hear he takes forever to click. And when he finally does, you'll look at the result and say "Well, ofr all the trouble, he's not THAT much better."
Hmm. I've always thought of Dakoda as a girl.
You just ruined a lot of fantasies for me.
Nilbo, you crack me up :)
And I'm just wondering how many current D50 owners were influenced by Dooce? I now know of at least three bloggers that I first met in Dooce's (former) comments who own one.
I'm thinking they need to pay her for all the advertising.
I dont smoke, but after reading that, I need a cigarette.
Dakoda, there will always be a place for you in my pocket. Sometimes my pocket wants nothing more than a quick, uncomplicated in and out.
rob, I'm thinking we should name the Nikon D-Fiddy. Cause he's a bad ass.
Andrea, I've thought the same thing. In our case, we looked seriously at the Nikon and the Canon Rebel, and it was the reviews and bang for our buck that finally swayed us. Although certainly seeing the shots that Heather and Greenie and Kristine take (with the D70, not D50) reassured me that the Nikon would be a worthy companion.
Heh, I actually thought the same thing after writing it, Jess.
Damn it if I'm not sitting here in a pile of my own juices right here on the computer chair.
I so envy you. Tell me it has no shutter lag at all. And what kind of card does it use? And should I blow the bank and get one to save a little green on the D70? Love the D-Fiddy. Can't really do that with the D70. BAMF works though.
Your blog is dirtier than porn. (and I love it.)
(shuffling) Um, yeah, D50, D70, what's the diff? (probably a few hundred at least, she guesses...)
You certainly sound satisfied.
I like the new camera. YAY for you!
yonzie, no shutter lag at all. I mean, I can take photos faster with D-Fiddy than I can in burst mode with Dakoda. It has an SD card. While there are some features on the D70 that the D50 lacks, every review we read said we wouldn't miss them. And there are a few improvements in the D50 actually, just because it's a newer model. You can see a comparison chart here (scroll down). Basically, the general consensus is that for all intents and purposes the D50 gives you a D70 at a lesser price. Jackpot!
That just might be the best blog compliment anyone has ever given me, CM. ;)
Yeah, the price tag seems to be the biggest difference, Andrea. And all the Nikons use the same lenses, so that's not a factor, either.
Thanks, Momo. I like it too!
Mmmmmmmm... What a sexy beast.
Sweet present Santa! Merry Christmas Kalkiluv.
ROWR. Who knew photography was so HOT?
Happy Holidays to you Miss Kelly, and Rob and the kitties, too!
and now you might understand why I named the d70, BAD ASS MUTHA FUCKA.
BAMF.
What did you name yours??
Sexy beast is the perfect description, Krank.
Merry Christmas to you too, Amanda B. sweetie!
LB - I KNOW, right?
Thank you jessica_deva, and to you as well, dear.
kristine, the first time I held it in my hands I thought, "I completely understand why Kristine calls hers BAMF." He is a bad ass - we've named ours D-Fiddy.
Oh Merriest of Christmases!
Yay! Congratulations!
My family pooled their money and bought me the D70. I cried when I saw it.
We should get together and take pictures of each other's cameras
OMG. I laughed so hard I just FUCKING THREW MY BACK OUT!
I can't believe this. I am laughing so hard that I can't even walk.
D-FIddy! omg.
OMG.
You are the funniest person on the whole internet!
Indeed, mrtl!
Yippeee! Congrats, Torrie!
Oh god, I crippled kristine. Not cool. But glad you like the name. :)