Yeah, so here's the thing: I don't remember it. At all. What they say about how you'll always remember your first kiss? Apparently that's a lie just like the whole first impressions last forever thing. For me, anyway. Because I do not remember my first kiss AT ALL.

I can tell you this much. It was 8th grade. Definitely with Luke, my 8th grade "boyfriend" who didn't believe that women could be doctors. It was probably at the movie theatre, but I don't actually remember that for sure. Just a hunch. Funny thing is, I remember other stuff. I can tell you Luke's birthday - July 31. I can tell you that we "went out" exactly 3 months, to the day. I remember what we bought each other for Christmas. I remember telling him in math class that he was dumb and he thought I said "dumped" and looking back on it, I totally shouldn't have corrected him. I remember in vivid detail the day we actually broke up. I remember that Doreen "went out" with Luke in 7th grade and broke up with him b/c he was making armpit farts. I remember all of that random shit - but my first kiss? Nothing.

But I remember my first kiss with Rob like it was yesterday. Because it actually meant something. Because I was smitten. But mostly because the fucker made me wait TWO WEEKS for that kiss. TWO WEEKS! What hormone-driven high school boy waits TWO WEEKS to plant one on you? Shit ain't right. Keep in mind I'd already waited SIX MONTHS just to date the dude. Let's just say I was ripe and ready for that kiss. Granted, I understood why he didn't kiss me on our first date, what with Melissa tagging along and all. But there was no logical reason to keep me waiting TWO WEEKS.

I was seriously starting to think he just wasn't that into me. I mean, the only reason he had asked me out was because my cousin threatened to beat him up if he didn't. Then he brought a fucking chaperone on our first date. And then the most action I was getting was a little dopey hand-holding? WTF? At first my friends were all, "He's being respectful. He wants you to know that he likes you and isn't just in it for a makeout session." And I was like, "Awww, what a sweetie." Then a week passed and my friends were all, "Maybe he's just shy?" And I was like, "Well that's sorta cute, I guess." But halfway into the second week my friends were all, "He still hasn't kissed you?! Huh." And I was like, "OMG he thinks I'm ugly. Or maybe it's my breath - quick, somebody smell my breath!"

I finally broke down and asked my closest guy friend what it meant if a dude still hadn't kissed you after two weeks. And he was like, "That's not good. I mean, if he's a decent guy he'll definitely wait one week. But nobody waits two." Super.

And so Doreen and Nicole decided to take matters into their own hands. Because that's what you do if one of your girls isn't getting any but desperately wants to be. After school one day we all drove down (well, I guess Rob drove us all down since none of the rest of us had licenses...I don't remember that part) to a nearby park. Rob and I just thought we were all going to stroll around together, but as soon as we got out of the car, Nicole and Doreen veered off to the left and said, "We're going this way. YOU ALL go THAT way." And then they giggled. Yeah, I know - subtle. But they were just doing what they had to do - clearly dude needed a not-so-subtle hint. TWO WEEKS, people!

To be honest, I was seriously doubtful he would actually kiss me. I'd pretty much given up hope by then. We walked along the stream that bordered the park and then stopped to sit on a log. I'm sure he was nervous as hell, but I was like, BRING IT ON, BABY. And then he did. And then I went home and wrote a poem about it:

The crystal water glistens
Green, like a frog.
And I watch, silently,
As he carves our initials in a log.
I look around
The sky is blue.
Trees surround us
Just us two.
He turns around
And pulls me near.
I am content,
Happy to be here.
I hold on tight
As we embrace
Then we part
And stand face to face
We both smile
As our lips meet
And then we kiss
Soft and sweet.

Shut up. I was in NINTH GRADE, okay?

What's funny is that after this first kiss, I started keeping track of how many times we had kissed. I'm weird like that. I think we got to 18 kisses before I lost count, and that was only because we'd had a serious makeout fest and there had been too many to count and they didn't have clear beginnings and endings anyway. You know? I mean, when you kiss like practically nonstop for half an hour, is that one kiss or 300? Hard to say. Plus, for someone as easily confused by numbers as I am, the counting thing became a little distracting.

I guess by now we've probably kissed thousands of times. Millions, maybe. Okay, not millions. But thousands for sure. Turns out, it was worth the wait.

(Thanks to mrtl for today's motif monday topic.)