halloweenie
kelly | 31 October 2005 - 1:51pm
Here's the thing - I'm a Halloween scrooge. I know, I know - FREAK. But I just don't get the holiday. I know you're thinking that obviously I did not consume enough candy corn during my childhood, but that's not true. I did the Halloween thing as a kid. But to be honest, I never really liked it all that much. The costume thing was okay, but mostly it was a burden to get all dressed up, often in a costume that made it difficult to sit or walk. And then there was, of course, the walking itself. It's so tiring. And it's often COLD outside. I hate being tired and cold. And even when my parents drove me around from house to house (because we lived out in the boondocks and houses were miles apart), the getting in and out of the car a million times was almost as tiring as the walking around would have been. If you're thinking that a kid who won't do a little walking for a lot of candy is LAZY, you would be right. I was a lazy kid. But also, in my defense, I wasn't a big fan of candy. Or strangers. Or even, really, people I knew. And it just wasn't worth bartering chit-chat and cheek pinches for candy that would sit around the house until Easter when it would get thrown out and replaced by Easter candy that would then sit around until Halloween.
It would be perfectly fine with me if Halloween were removed from the calendar (closely followed by Valentine's Day). And this is yet another reason I should not have kids. They would expect creative costumes and jack-o-lantern carving and fake spiderwebs on our windows and I would just look at them and say, "Really? Do we have to? I mean, it all just seems so TIRING."
And I don't even understand what exactly it is everyone is celebrating. Death? I don't want to celebrate that. Ghosts? I don't believe in them. Being scared? Being scared is not fun, y'all. Candy? You already know how I feel about that. And so I did not wear orange or black today. And I won't turn on my porch light this evening. In fact, I did not even buy candy. Because damned if I'm going to stand by the door just to fake-ooh and fake-ahh over stranger kids' costumes. That is not fun. Egg my house if you must, but that's just not going to happen. Bah humbug.
To be honest, I'm a bit of a scrooge in general. Within our extended family, I'm known as the one who "hates fun." It's true - I do. One year, my aunt thought it would be fun to add games to our Christmas get-together. I hate games. But we played stupid games anyway, and I bitched and moaned about it so much that they said I had to be in charge of games the next year. Which was fine by me, because the next year? Yeah, we didn't have games. And no one could complain about it because they had put me in charge. Suckers. But then the next year, they put someone else in charge, and that someone thought that what would be even more fun than games would be karaoke. Aargh - I hate karaoke even more than games. (I know hating karaoke officially makes me a FREAK, but I don't care. I hate karaoke. There, I said it again!) And then there was the time I went to my cousin's birthday party which was held at a skating rink. Turns out, they actually expected people to skate! Yeah, I don't skate. I mean, I know how to skate but I choose not to skate. Because it is not fun. I am happy you are eight years old, kiddo, but hell will freeze over before you will see me on skates. I will celebrate by eating cake.
Because eating cake? Now that is fun.
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So if a bunch of kids dressed as cows knocked on your door, you would not have anything for them? What if the real cows dress as people?
You keep adding to the reasons I adore you. We could not be more of a mind on these issues. Now, if we could only agree on John Stamos ...
Every family needs a holiday grinch. I routinely simply avoid the whole thing - Christmas, Easter, you name it. However, I have not yet reached your state of grinchness because I admit I am charmed by small, frightened children dressed oddly by overly-ambitious parents, i.e. Halloween.
I'm just not into Halloween, either. However, as I am the mother of three small children, I am sort of forced to do something. This year, that something was let my mother-in-law buy costumes for the kids. Yeah. In this particular area, I totally suck as a mom.
P.S. I don't care what Nilbo says, in the good ol' U.S. of A., it's Halloween, not that freakishly metric-sounding Hallowe'en.
That is all.
People don't do the whole trick or treating thing here and I can't say I miss it. And it's great not having to spend a bunch of money on candy we just have to give away.
Hey do you like pumpkin pie? Cuz I have an awesome pumpkin pie CAKE recipe that is really delish...let me know...it's yummy...
You surprise me, after encouraging me to humiliate my daughter by dressing her in leiderhosen. WTF?
I hate two things about Halloween:
1. Trick or Treaters taking my candy.
2. Decorating, so I just don't do it.
william, I'm afraid the kids would get only a blank stare. The cows, on the other hand, would get whatever the hell they wanted in order to keep the peace.
Nilbo, I fear John Stamos will always be the wedge between us. But as long as his wedge fits firmly....uh, wait. As long as he is pressed tightly between us....er, hold on...[thinking of a way to finish sentence without making it sound like a threeway]...Never mind, I don't even remember where I was going with that.
jessica_deva, I don't mind holidays as long as they do not involve games, singing, potluck dinners, or rowdy revelry of any kind. So uh...well huh, I guess I am the family grinch.
No no, LadyBug, that is not sucking as a mom. To allow your MIL to buy costumes for the kids is to create the opportunity for bonding to occur between generations by facilitating a common interest. See, doesn't that sound better? ;)
Bente, the only sad thing about no trick or treating in Australia is that it would be the one legitmate reason for Elli to wear her tail!
jana - Um, yes please! I am indeed a fan of pumpkin pie and can only imagine the goodness that is pumpkin pie CAKE! By all means, post the recipe in my comments or email me at kalkik@verizon.net
Yes mrtl, I suppose that might have been a wee bit of a mixed message. However, you need to understand that the entertainment value of leiderhosen supersedes my distaste for Halloween.
But...you don't really CARE for CANDY? That is just not right. You are not right in the head, I am sure of it. I LOVE CANDY. Candy is the best part of Halloween! My parents used to have to set limits of a certain number of pieces per day. And I liked costumes when I was a kid, but trying to think of a costume now just makes me tired. So. Much. Work. And. Money.
Oh, and we have holiday decorations because my husband is the king of thousands of twinkle lights and fake spider webs. Whatever makes him happy, I guess.
I totally understand your not wanting to sound like you were asking for a three-way featuring us and John Stamos. You're quite right. He's a lightweight, and would just get in our way.
That's it. Witch, I want my bitch sign back.
See, I am so glad Ern got here before me, because I can borrow her "You're not right in the head," which sounds so much friendlier than the "Geez, who knew you sucked so much?" that I was going to use. I kid. I'm a kidder. We do differ considerably here. I like candy. I like . . . theatrics. NOT "drama" as in people who live high drama lives, but actual, deliberate theatrics -- costuming, pretending. That's what I like about Halloween. I don't even do the scary. I do the pumpkin carving or painting, because I find that creative and fun, but the witches, vampires, death? That does not entertain me, so symbols of that ilk are not found here. That is all.
Ern, I should clarify that I am an absolute glutton for chocolate candy. Nowadays (at least judging by bloggers' photos of their kids' loot) it seems the kids get good chocolatey candy. But I mostly got hard candy or chewy candy or...APPLES. I'm not such a fan of those.
Now that, Nilbo, is something on which we can agree. ;)
Actually, I love that sign and WILL fight you for it, yonzie. Besides, it comes in especially handy on Halloween when I want everyone to know I am decidedly OUT.
Susie, if I were more creative, I might approach Halloween similarly. I get you there. And surely it's more fun when you have a kid. I get that, too. So go on with your bad Halloween self, girl. (And same to Jessica Rabbit. She almost makes me love Halloween....almost.)
I love it all but I just never manage to get up the energy to do it. But I do hate the games. I party poop on the games
I hate the Holidays. I like Halloween though. I don't LOVE IT!, but I like it. I like the kids, the pumpkin carving, pumpkin latte, pumpkin pie, chocolate candy.
Harlow doesn't like Halloween or the 4th of July. Go figure.
xo kitten
For me its not just the fun of dressing up like someone else, or being able to wear something totally over the top and have people think its great. Its seeing the happiness on the little kids faces (most of them) Its the purple and orange lights, its the little fun scares for the sake of feeling your heart beat and laughing at your foolishness when its over, it reminds me of being young and not feeling how heavy the world around us is when your an adult.
Running from house to house in the chill air trying to get candy and keep up with your friends and laughing and spooking each other, it is so innocent and young and so opposite what the world we live in truly is.
Plus, it is the Wiccan New Year, it is a time to honor and remember your loved ones who have passed away, be thankful for the fall harvest and bounty, and say goodnight to the land and trees and flowers and life that is about to go dorment for many months in most of the country, and to start fresh and release all the bad energy of the past year with the changing cycles of the seasons. Start with a clean slate and work towards new and better things that will come with the reawaking of life in the spring.
But that is me, just me. I understand lots of people dont much care for Halloween. And I am with you on Valentines day myself, its just a greeting card holiday. Im not tryin to change your mind, and I agree eating cake is very much fun. And I also hate karaoke, but I LOVE to mock the people doing a horrible job singing... specially the drunk ones.
Happy day after Halloween, sliding ever closer to Thanksgiving, dun dun duuuuuunn.
:)
Trick-or-Treating is terrorism perpetrated by children in fiendish costumes. Terrorism perpetrated on the too-old-to-trick-or-treaters for free candy. Damn them all! Damn them and their cute little matching Nemo and Dora costumes... Aaaaaaaw! CUTE!
Hee. That reminds me of the Adam Sandler SNL skit where he's all, "Look at me! I'm crazy Spoon Head! I have a spoon coming right out of my head! Now give me candy!" Oh, and my FAVORITE! "Look, I'm 'Protractor Chin' boy! Give me candy! I have a protractor for a chin!" I LOVE that skit! I do! I don't care! It's FUH-NEEEEE!
All kidding aside, WTF?! You don't like KAROAKE?!! Okay, we can't be BFF's anymore. I want my charm back.
Kelly, I think I may be you, the next generation. NO interest in Hallowe'en (I was the kid who dressed up in a last-minute, half-assed cowboy costume eight years in a row), and Valentine's Day IS scratched off my calendar.
Also, hate karaoke and can't skate.
And love John Stamos!
But I think we could change your mind about games!
Ahhh ... "you, a generation later". Doesn't that make you feel ... well ... old?
Do you KNOW how much joy that brings me?
Heh Von, for some reason your comment reminded me of my favorite I Love Lucy skit of all time, ever. It's the vitameatavegamin one - "Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?" Oh, hee hee hee heeee! Love it.
GREEEEEENIE!!!! I'm all beaming and stuff, just from seeing your name. Love you! Miss you!! And pumpkin latte? Yummy. But not as yummy as you.
See Jessicarabbit, your comment is the perfect example of why I think you are the shit-diggity. Because there is so much to you, because you are so damn smart, and because you are able to let go completely and have FUN. I admire all of that. I'm not into Halloween, but I completely love that you are. Thanks for your thoughts, as always.
Uh-oh. I knew you'd dump me over the karaoke thing, cat. KNEW it. And you know what I thought of when I read that you want your charm back? Yeah, your silly Lucky Charms shirt. Hee.
Allie! I'm thrilled you're here! However, that "next generation" remark? Your father put you up to that, didn't he? I mean, I'm not THAT much older than you. Truly, we could be sisters. Sheesh. :) The fact that you dressed up as a cowboy for 8 years in a row is cracking me up. Love it. However, I'm not budging on games...unless they involve a half-assed John Stamos.
Nilbo, you must have snuck in there while I was composing my comment. And yes, I can just imagine how much frickin' joy that must bring you. Dammit.
You ARE a Grinch! How can someone not like a nice round pumpkin glowing on a porch? A little kid looking up at you and saying "Fenk U" when you drop a little choc bar in their bag? A corn maze? Come on, Kalki! You're killin' me!
Now, now .. be nice to poor Kelly ... she was probably less crusty when she was younger.
yo- i totally agree about not understanding halloween. i. just. don't. get. it. but that dosen't stop me from trick or treating with my nieces and nephew because they are beyond cute when dressed up.
I wasn't that great of a mom at Halloween either. I would try to put something together a day or two ahead of time and off we would go. I do love making things for Halloween. I do cookies, popcorn balls, carmel apples, and candy. We live in the sticks, so those who bother to come, get a BIG BAG of stuff. Got 15 this year. Now my daughter, Monica is another story. (John Boys sister) Her children, the twins Lindsay and Michael, have custom made, practically NY stage production costumes, every year. I have a friend who is the best seamstress and she makes them what ever they want every year. Halloween is BIG for them. I'll have to get pictures and have John post them one day.
Kelly, what's wrong with your Redneck Valley? Of course chocolate candy! The humanity!
But, I do have to say you really topped yourself with the negative karma/vibes/mojo whatever you want to call it on this one. I could feel my goodness and happy demeanor being sucked out of me. Smile and have a chocolate bar, sheesh! :P
lol
Amy, I KNOW. I completely suck. But you love me anyway, right?
Er, thanks Nilbo...I think.
Hi anna! I admit the costumes are cute. But come on - you go trick or treating with them for the candy. :)
Margi, I am all for using any holiday as an excuse to make yummy food. Remind me to come over to your place next year for Halloween!
Be nice, John Boy. ;)