second best
kelly | 7 October 2005 - 10:48am
I don't have photos for this week's SPF but I do have a sorta-relevant post. The yearbooks reminded me of it.
There is one person in high school I have a slight grudge against. We'll call her Alise because that is her name. Alise is the kind of person all of you would like immediately. She's bubbly, funny, smart, cute. A real likable gal. And that bitch stole the "Best All Around" senior superlative right out from under me.
EVERYONE in my group of friends got superlatives but me. One was Most Creative, one was Best to Take Home to Parents, one was something else I can't remember. Mr. Mojo was Most Likely to Succeed; Doreen was Best Smile. And I was supposed to be Best All Around. That one was MINE! Because I was SO the Best All Around.
Okay, so not really. I mean, I was pretty great all around, but maybe not the best. But I found out that several people had written my name down for Best All Around, so I was sorta excited. I was like, Huh, maybe I AM the Best All Around! You know what? Yes! Yes, I totally am!
But nooooo. I wasn't. Not so much. Apparently Alise, with her bubbliness and funniness and smartness and cuteness and general likableness, was Better All Around than me. Because she totally won. Got her picture in the yearbook and everything, looking all Best All Around-esque. The bitch. And the thing is? I was a close second. As I recall. And the other thing is? She was editor of the yearbook, so you KNOW the ballot-counting was rigged. I'm just saying.
Although actually, I think it was probably my fault. During 9th - 11th grades I was definitely working the Best All Around, but I slipped a little my senior year. As in, I was a bit of a bitch. Rob was far far away at college and I wanted to be far far away at college, too. I felt high school was so beneath me and that most of the people in the senior class were dumbfucks. (In my defense, it was and they were.) As a result, I might have been a bit of a snob. There was a group of people - the smart kids - with whom I was very Best All Around, but everyone else I pretty much pretended didn't exist. Which, I realize now, wasn't really Best All Around behavior. Nor was it wise politically because the underlings you snub in the hallways tend not to vote for you.
But I have to say that this was a turning point for me. I realized I would probably never be the Best All Around. I mean, it's hard work to be the best all the way around. I'm way too lazy for that. So I decided that I should try to be the best at just the things I'm already good at. And so I declared myself Best Nose in the Air, Class of 1998. And I'm proud to say that I've worn the title well ever since.
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I am busy looking up Alise's blog if she has one. I thought I was reading the blog of the Best all around but I must have been mistaken. :)
I am sure Nilbo will have something interesting to say.
Best All Around the what? The football team? I bet she deserved it.
Canya guess what I won, canya? I was so damn proud of it, too. And you hit the high school dumbfuck description on the head.
You had to mention the class year, didn't you? Gah! Young un. ;)
I was in charge of the superlatives for my senior class, and I had much fun adding new categories, like "Most Likely to Become a TV Evangelist" and "Cutest Butt." Fun times.
Aww william, your comment just made it all better. Years of resentment and jealousy ... gone! (By the way, read Alise's blog and you are dead to me.) :)
HA! Crayonz you crack me up. And I'm thinking you won Most Likely to be a Blingo Babe. No? Most Likely to Give Birth to a Pole-Dancer? Hee. You were Most Likely to Succeed, weren't you? Biznitch. That's the one I really wanted.
Oh mrtl, that rocks! And actually, I know exactly who would have been Most Likely to Become a TV Evangelist in my class. She was sorta freaky.
K, you are Best All Around in my book.
It is alot of work to be political in high school. You have to smile uh-lot. I wasn't awarded with any of those things, we didn't really have them. I prolly would have won "Best at finding places in the school to hide" and perhaps "Best at leaving locker unlocked" though. Those were some of my good points.
And I reiterate what Mrtl said, you youngun. I graduated in 88. Eep.
Woman, this is why I love you so much! Can I just tell you once again what an awesome writer you are? That made me laugh so freaking hard! Unfortunately, I am still weak from being sick... must... go... lie down...
Class clown, baby, class clown.
We didn't have a "Most Likely to Succeed" category. It had something to do with that special little dorm picture.
Consider it a good thing as those 'best' types are sorta hated a little by their classmates. It is unatural to be so great all the ficking time. Alise is an alien.
Alise has no mrtland patch with stars on it, and no one sees Alise's haircut when they google for such things. Um, I was Most Likely to Succeed. It's no picnic, lemme tell ya. They don't tell you what the criteria is by which you'll be judged at reunions to come. Is it income? Appearance? Major awards received? I may never know if I've lived up to the title . . .
I once had a client, a middle school kid, whose classmates had voted him "Lowest Pants," which means, you know, how the kids go around with their pants hanging off their asses -- well, yea, he got an award for that -- and the faculty voted him "Most Likely to 'Do Time'" as in, go to prison. WTF kind of faculty gives that title to a kid?
I was (you'll think I'm making this up but I'm totally not) "Most Likely To Produce a Porn Movie". My parents were so proud.
This was actually quite cool for me: BOTH of my girls, who went to the same school three years apart (so never attended at the same time or with the same people) were voted "Daddy's Little Girl". I have drawn my own conclusions about that, and both they and I are cool with it.
And what ... you couldn't get "Most Likely To Boink John Stamos"? If Alise beats you to that, I think you'll have to kill her.
Awww, thanks Amy. And what you said reminded me of a quick story. A new high school was just built here, to replace a really old one that had often been added onto and thus had lots of nooks and crannies in which to hide. And a friend of mine is a teacher and she said the first day of school at the NEW school, she was walking behind two girls and one of them said to the other, "This school is like, totally lame. I mean, there is no where to go here but class." Heh, that it so YOU! :)
You're very kind, cat. Thanks! Hope you're feeling all better today.
CLASS CLOWN! Of course, ieatclownz. And wow, you went to a specialized SMART school for math and science nerds. Consider me duly impressed. But still, y'all should have had Most Likely To Succeed! Oh wait, I get it - you ALL were.
Good point, Krank. Of course, I'm betting there were plenty of people who disliked me, considering the snobbishness and all. But, well...fuck 'em.
It's funny you said that, Susie, because I have actually thought before that being Most Likely to Succeed would be a lot of pressure! I mean, it's a lifelong edict that you NOT be a slacker. That's pretty rough. And speaking of rough, I cannot believe that poor child was voted "Most Likely to 'Do Time'"!!! He probably thought the Lowest Pants one was cool, but the Prison one is completely inappropriate. SHAME on that faculty. SHAME.
Nilbo, That Is Awesome. That little porn movie tidbit made my day. And I love your comment because it is YOU in a nutshell. Potential porn movie producer who goes on to raise two daddy's girls. This is why I love you. :) And yes, if that bitch ever gets anywhere near John Stamos, there will be HELL TO PAY.
By the way, I was one half of "Cutest Couple". The other half was girl named Carol. We broke up 2 years later. People to this day still ask me if I married Carol.
william, that's great! So funny that people still ask about her. I bet Lauren loves that...