turn on your damn cell phones already
kelly | 6 July 2005 - 11:22am
My mom had knee surgery a few weeks ago and is on crutches. Their bedroom is on the 2nd story of their house and I worry about her falling on the stairs. So I call her from work mid-morning each day just to make sure she made it down the stairs okay that morning, and to see if she needs me to help her with lunch or anything. (Yes, I know I'm an overprotective daughter, but I get it from her.) My brother lives with my parents (college kid) and was off work today, so I didn't need to call today. But I wanted to invite them over for dinner tonight, so I called anyway, around 9:30am. No one answered. I figured Mom was in the shower and my brother was probably still asleep, so I waited until 10 and called again. No answer. Then I called my dad's office to ask if maybe she had an appointment my brother had taken her to. But Dad didn't pick up and I got his secretary's voicemail. Then I called his cell phone, which he also didn't answer. So then I called my brother's cell. No answer. THEN I called my mom's cell. No answer.
My entire family had disappeared.
I continued to make this round of calls for the next hour, with no one EVER answering ANY phones. In fact, all of their cell phones went straight to voicemail, which means THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THEM TURNED ON.
Worried my poor mother was lying at the bottom of the stairs, helpless and alone, I left work and drove to their house to check on her. No one was home, which I was glad about because it explained why no one was answering the house phone.
Now that I'm not worried anymore, I'm ANNOYED. I know exactly where each person's cell phone is: Mom's is in her purse, Dad's is clipped to his belt, and my brother's is in his jeans pocket. BUT THEY ARE NOT TURNED ON. My family must think cell phones are just for their own convenience and never stop to think that someone (ME) might be worried sick and trying to call them. What the hell is the point of having cell phones if you NEVER TURN THEM ON? Seriously folks, that shit ain't right.
There is just no excuse for this kind of behavior. They are so getting a lecture over dinner tonight.
Update - 3:10pm: I just now finally got Mom on the phone. She has been at the dentist ALL DAY getting caps and whitening. I had thought of the possibility of an appointment, but she and I talk every day and she didn't mention any appointments to me last evening. Well, it turns out she had intentionally not mentioned it because she wanted to surprise me with her new and improved smile. How can I be mad about that? And, how can I expect her to have her cell phone on when the dentist has his hand shoved in her mouth such that she couldn't answer it even if it did ring? So she's off the hook.
And my brother went in to work after all, and he always turns his cell off at work. So he's off the hook.
And my dad is traveling for work today and is out of cell range (Redneck Valley, remember). So he's off the hook as well.
Too bad, because I had a fire and brimstone sermon all ready to go.
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Ahh, the life cycle of being a parent. You start out being the wisest, smartest, most wonderful human being in existence. That lasts for about .. oh, a year. From that point on, you get stoopider and stoopider, until your child is about 14 or 15, when you are officially the stoopidest, most ignorant arsehole that ever darkened the face of the planet.
That lasts for a couple of years, but then, magically, you begin getting smarter and smarter until by their mid-twenties, why you are by god one of the smartest cookies around. Yeah, don't get too settled in, there, Einstein.
By the time your kids are in their late twenties, early thirties, you have begun the slide once more into the pit of stupidity, where they need to keep tabs on you and make sure you've taken your pills and are getting out for walks and you're reachable at all times because God knows without their help you might wander into traffic or put your underwear on backwards.
And finally, you're old and decrepit and they're spooning porridge into you and telling all their friends "Yeah, he's just so wise and full of spirit and alert and on the ball for someone his age ..."
So, go ahead, prepare your lecture, darlin' ... (g) ... just remember ... one day you, too, will get stoopid.
i'm guessing that they're all three at the picture-show together, watching war of the worlds, completely captivated by tom cruise's Scientologized eyes. of course they're at the movies, because why else in the world would three people, from the same family, all turn off their cell phones at the same time? unless they were all abducted by aliens, in which case tom cruise's Scientology would really benefit them right about now....
Wait, Nilbo, you mean I'm not my parents' keeper? You mean they are...independent?! Nah...
But maybe you're on to something. Maybe they turned their phones off because I am annoying the hell out of them.
Raz, that's a good theory, but the problem is this has been a repeated problem with these people. They can remember to carry their phones with them, but it is beyond them that they should maybe turn them on.
Wait. You mean it's not a family's job to drive you nutso on a regular basis. I'm SO writing a letter.
HA! Yep, same problems at my house! Nilbo, I am now officially sliding down into the stoopider and stoopider stage...witness I planned a vacation with the kids! GAH!
K-hope your family is alright and have not been abducted by aliens! Please keep us posted! =)
I'm just sayin' . Listen to me now, because my daughters are in their mid-twenties, and right now, I'm friggin' smart, and trying to use my powers for good. Because I know they won't last, and sooner or later some kid whose ass I used to diaper is going to be haranguing me because I decided to leave my cell phone off.
Heeheehee ... :)
::booming voice:: Ye shalt not havest thy cellphonest off whilst being summoned by thy daughter whost lovest thou enormously!!! ::banishing family to the kitchen-cabinet-from-hell-without-drywall:: harsh? yes. but it must be done.
Girl, you KNOW that I feel for you! "Sorry I didn't call or answer my cellphone. We aren't allowed to use them inside the hospital, you know..." Whatever! Thanks, MOM!
Sheesh. Aren't parents so inconsiderate sometimes? I mean, she could have been DEAD! Or SOMETHING equally dire! Or out buying donuts without you! GOSH!
I had the husband's car today, and he was close to empty. I couldn't figure out how to open the damned gas door. He's golfing. I tried to call three times. No luck, so I went home. Fortunately I made it. He would have NEVER heard the end of it if I had run out of gas.
Watch him run out of gas on the way to the gas station. That'll learn 'im.
So ... it's possible they weren't so bad after all, huh? Heeheehee.
And mrtl ... if any guy I was golfing with had his cell phone switched on, and it actually rang while we were on the course, the arc that phone would describe in the air as I threw it in the pond beside the green would be wonderful to behold. And if he actually answered the phone? He'd follow it in.
It's in the USGA Rules Book under "Local Rules".
Amanda, just make sure you say something in that letter about how people need to TURN THEIR CELL PHONES ON.
Weetzie, swear to google for a moment I thought, "It's the second coming and I've been left behind. OMG, I totally didn't even believe that would actually happen. Well hmmm, I guess that's why I was left behind."
Nilbo, I'm the same age as your daughters. As in, you're old enough to be my father. As in, in five years I'll be nagging you, along with your daughters, about taking your pills. Speaking of which, you do take a daily vitamin, don't you?
I love it, Raz! They so need to be banished.
Hey Cat, I bet some would argue that even more inconsiderate than not having one's cell phone on is having it on but not answering it for four hours because one didn't hear it ring because one was having such a damn good time fucking over some pastries with friends. Heh, OOPS.
mrtl, don't listen to Nilbo. He's practically senile at this point. But still so full of spirit, for his age...
I fucking HATE when I can't reach someone.
My freakin' husband leaves his cell phone on at all times, but only hears it HALF the time.
It will be in his pocket ringing AND vibrating and he won't hear/feel it. Hello??? Are you missing TWO of your senses simultaneously?
So fucking ANNOYING.
Man, you guys would HATE me. I never answer my phone (mainly because I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE). But I always listen to my messages right away and call back if I need to. Otherwise, people have to wait until I can get to my email to get back to them or I see them in person.
Me no likey the phone.
This entire rant could have come directly from my husband's mouth. Word.For.Word. :) I guess they all have excuses, but we are so used to always being able to get ahold of anyone whenever we want...it's hard to go back to the dark ages!
BTW, my hubby was poking around over here on klog, and he approves! :) (He also said we should exchange naked pictures, because that would be hot, but I don't think he really expected that to happen.)
Owwww ... it hurts, it hurts ....
(sigh) Yes, you are young enough to be my daughter. But - and this is by no means a subtle point - you are not. So I'm allowed to heartily approve of Ern's husband's suggestion.
And damn .. I forgot my vitamins today. There's a message on my cell phone. I wonder which daughter it is ...?
Exactly, Torrie - it is fucking ANNOYING. Word.
You're a screener, Sherri. That's okay because you call right back if you need to. But these people (my family, that is) don't even turn their cell phones on. And that is not okay, because I never call cell phones just to chit chat. I call because I NEED to talk to them about something important. The phone being off just doesn't facilitate that so well...
Hey David, how YOU doin'? (Uh oops, hi there Ern. Nah, I'm just teasing - let's not start another kitten fight.) As for the naked pictures exchange, perhaps we can work something out...Okay, no. Not really.
Awww, I blove you Nilbo Naggins. And not like a father figure either, if you know what I'm sayin'.... ;)
I'm glad they're all ok. Ain't it a bitch when you get yourself all worked up to give them a piece of your mind, and then it turns out they don't really deserve it? :)
I get very frustrated when I try to call Andy and he never has his phone on. I just don't see the point of having one if you're not going to turn it on. (Though your family is excused for good reasons. Andy, on the other hand, never has good reasons. Never.)
Oooh, I just HATE it when I get my piss and vinegar all stored up and ready to unleash and then....fizzle. Somebody rains on my rant.
But I'm glad your mom was okay. Was her smile very sparkly?
Kelly,Erin, come over to the dark side.
I agree about the cell phone--my hubbie does it to me all the time but his excuse is his radio is turned up SO LOUDLY he can't hear it ring. Turn the radio down dear.
And a sidenote, I see John Stamos in all of his glory every night at 8 pm when my daughters watch "Full House".
If I ever own a cell phone (and chances are, unfortunately, that I will, because I have kids), I will refuse to turn it on unless I am expecting a call. I hate having my day interrupted by my landline, why would I want to be available to just anybody at every waking moment? I will probably only carry it for emergencies.
On the flip side, I am a hypocrite, because I also get VERY VERY ANNOYED when I can't reach my husband on HIS phone. LIKE TODAY! And there's nothing wrong with this, because he chooses to make himself available to everyone, so he SHOULD pick up when I call ;)
(looking at the self-portrait with the "ONE" bracelet)
Sheisnotyourdaughterit'sOK ... Sheisnotyourdaughterit'sOK ...
Indeed, CK. I was all riled up.
Bente, my family had good reasons this time. But usually, they "forgot" to turn them on or "just didn't think about it."
Yes, her smile is fabulous, LB! Well worth my worry.
There certainly seems to be a lot of peer pressure to do so, Torrie!
Welcome, Vajana! And I am extremely jealous of your nightly date with John Stamos. Lick the tv screen for me, will ya?
My mom and brother pretty much just carry theirs for emergencies, Andrea. I can understand that. The thing is, someone ELSE may be having an emergency and be trying to contact them.
;) to Nilbo.
XO Kitten...love your SPD and your spirit.
glad everyone is ok...cute story bout your mom wanting to surprise ya! I hate it when people don't turn on their phones!! Like everyone else said...what's the point? (unless you are in a meeting or AT THE DENTIST -TEEHEE) but isn't it awful when you work up the tirade and then you don't get to deliver? sheesh.
Nilbo - one word: vibrate.
Mrtl, if I did that, I'd be even more irresistible. Ohhh .. you meant "set the phone on ...". Got it. Good point, but I'm still adamant that the golf course ought to be one of those places that are phone free. Like the theatre, a funeral, and for god's sake the bathroom. I heard a guy in a stall closing a real estate deal as he dropped the kids off at the pool. I mean ... ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
If you're that important that the world can't do without you for four hours while you golf, I don't want you in my foursome - the secret service agents would put me off my game.
greenie - Ditto, love.
Weetzie, I'll admit that I still gave them a mini-lecture along the lines of "I know you all had good excuses this time, but let's discuss the importance of always having our cell phones on..." I am such a condescending bitch. :)
mrtl, that advice applies to so many different situations.
Nilbo, re: the bathroom phone conversation: That shit definitely ain't right.