boobin' it up* and other random observations
kelly | 29 June 2005 - 9:56am
- This week my boobs grew. If I didn't know better, I'd totally think that I was pregnant. Which I'm not. But they are definitely bigger than before. And yesterday when I came home from work I was craving tuna, so I made myself a snack consisting of club crackers spread with mayonnaise and then topped with tuna. Eeew, right? But it was SO good. Really, I'm NOT pregnant. What I am, though, is enjoying these shirt button-popping boobs! They rock! And they bounce! I am a freakin' Playboy bunny, people!
- I am thrilled to announce that klog is now the #41 Google search result for John Stamos! Mrtl emailed me yesterday with the good news. Originally I was #80-something, which means we are halfway there! Thanks to everyone for your contributions to the John Stamos Google Campaign. With your help, and my new boobs, there ain't nothin' we can't achieve. (Glory be to Google, and hallowed be John Stamos' name. Amen.)
- I almost snatched a Krispy Kreme box out of a public trash receptacle yesterday, just in case there was still a donut in it. I didn't do it, but the fact that I seriously considered it for more than 5 seconds leaves me troubled.
- Why is it that everytime I use Blingo, someone has won a prize exactly ONE MINUTE earlier? If only I could be 60 seconds ahead of myself...
- Dear Redneck Valley Dumbfucks: A pitcher is not something you take with a camera. Love, Rob
This item courtesy of the geek-genius:
*trademarked by Jessica Rabbit, the boobin' it up™ queen
- 1991 reads
all comments photoblog
Here's a quick thought. Instead of typing
*trademarked by Jessica Rabbit, the boobin' it up™ queen
you could try typing
*trademarked by Jessica Rabbit, the boobin' it up™ queen... DO NOT FUCKING CLICK THIS LINK WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK UNLESS YOU WANT TO DRAMATICALLY INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF BEING THROWN OUT ON YOUR ASS AND BEING FORCED TO SALVAGE DONUTS FROM THE TRASH TO FEED YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTER!!!
Just a thought. ;)
Oh dear. Sorry michael!!! But thank you for serving as a warning to others. (Again, so sorry.)
::she-devil laugh::
OMG, that is too funny, Michael. I think I may have to wait until I get home to click that one from the tone of that comment.
#1 Congratulations Boob Meister!
#2 Congratulations Mrs. Stamos! Amen.
#3 I'm still questioning your pregnancy denial.
#4 I've still never won myself. It's all about the people you pimp to join.
#5 Excellent observation, Rob Meister*
*Now with more Boob Meister
Oh no, Michael, no one saw you, did they? I guess I could actually call you instead of corresponding with you through Kelly's comments...
Kelly, are you sure about the whole not-pregnant thing? The boobs are a definite bonus, the puking your guts out less so. It's really bad when your husband is fascinated by your new boobs and all you want to do is lie on the bathroom floor and die.
Rob is cracking me up with his ion and his pitcher...
I joined Blingo through you, so technically I can say you pimped me, right? Ronzie pimped the Boob Meister. Love it.
Hi Grace! A/C still isn't fixed, so I'm thinking my boobs are swelling due to the heat. :)
"Did you see that pitcher in the paper?"
"Huh?"
"Did you see that pitcher in the paper?"
"There's a pitcher in the paper?"
"Yeah, there's a pitcher of [blahblahblah] in yesterday's paper."
"OH, you mean a PHOTO."
Looks at me like I've lost my mind. "Yeah, that's what I said. A pitcher."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And you wonder why I get so worried when my daughter says something like learned up.
Umm .. the man clicks on a link to a woman with the nick "Jessica Rabbit" who is identified as "the boobin' it up Queen" ... and is astonished to find it not safe for work? Heeheehee "Gosh, boss .. I thought KittensWithWhips.com was a site for training young circus lions."
As for your entirely unsubstantiated claim of newfound boobage, I believe we need someone to compare before and after photos. At considerable personal sacrifice, I would be willing to take that bullet for the greater good of the team.
no, no one actually saw me. and yes, i should have known... silly me. it could have ben more of a problem if i hadn't already figured out how to get around their internet monitoring software :)
Hee, I love you, LadyBug! You know, in the internet-stalker way. ;)
Nilbo, I too wondered if perhaps michael's comment was merely damage control in case grace later discovered that he's been to Jessica Rabbit's site. Sneaky, michael - very sneaky!
And for the record, Nilbo, I KNEW you were going to offer that! Even as I was typing the post, I thought to myself, "Nilbo is going to demand photographic evidence of this and he's conniving enough to twist it so that it seems he is taking one for the team." I respect that. Now check your email!
(Nah, I'm just kidding.)
::more she-devil laughter::
evidence of a little klogger:
i'm just sayin'.... ;-)
This made me think of you, sweetie. VA's shirt is nice, too.
So Michael, how would one go about finding out if one's workplace had such Big Brother internet monitoring soft-o-ware?
::not dignifying Raz's comment with a response::
That shirt ROCKS, Zoiner! And I am laughing like a lunatic over the others. The VA one is so true.
(Okay, I can't ignore Raz any longer. I blove you, girl!)
grrrl, my e-mail was open and i was typin' you a message sofast after reading "not dignifying my comment...." i was all worried you wuz mad at me. and i have no time to e-mail! thankgoodness i kept reading your comment. whew!!! thought you was upset. i mean, i was just sayin', is all. (i'm trying to talk all redneck fer ya so you'lls understand me.)
Yeah, SURE you're not pregnant. How else do you explain the unexplained boob growth? Maybe all that pizza and soda and junk food. :) Someone once told me that the first place weight gain happens is in the boobs. This is SO not true for me, but maybe for you it is.
ronzie: log in as someone else and download porn all day!
seriously, though, i think they would normally tell you if they were doing that. that would be enough of a deterrent for most people. but even if they aren't actively monitoring, there's ALWAYS a record of who does what. so you should act as though they are watching. paranoid, but there it is. as for getting around it.... know any geek-geniuses? :)
You are SO knocked up! :D
Yep, I'm with the others....you're definitely preggers (denial is a common first clue as well)
Heeheeheehee....
Wow. Just checked my e-mail and all I can say ... in all sincerity and honesty ... is ... wow. After getting to know you a little bit, it was everything I expected. And that, folks, is the honest-to-God truth.
If you've been drinking the water in Blogland, then I'd guess that you are indeed knocked up. It's an epidemic!
P.S. I do tuna & mayo on saltines all the time!
Oh lawd, that wuz SO mean of me, Raz... :) (But sorta funny, maybe?) I'm sorry about that. For future reference, you should know that I'm only mean to the ones I love - just ask ieatcrayonz. :)
I appreciate your opinions, Amanda and Andrea. No, really. :) But I'm going with Ern's diagnosis. She's the doctor, after all. (Actually, if it's not the heat and it's not the pizza, it may be the fact that I intentionally missed my period last week by skipping the sugar pills and going straight into a new birth control pack. I do that all the time (gynecologist-sanctioned) and have never gotten big boobs, but it makes sense that it could happen, I guess.) Or maybe it's just because I've been taking my vitamins lately. (Paging "Dr." Tom Cruise...)
Awww thanks, Nilbo, I'm glad you liked them! Wait, WHAT?!
The pregnancy rumors are an epidemic too, Sherri! And thank google you eat tuna/mayo on crackers! That craving was what made me question myself, but now I'm convinced I'm normal (-ish, anyway).
I'm not a doctor like Ern, but my take on it is that John Stamos' touching of your boobs made them grow.
That's the best theory I've heard yet, mrtl.
So, what of you were pregnant, would that be a good thing? Not that I'm saying I don't believe you, but well...
Won't be long now and you'll be number one for John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos!
Wow, I go all nuts on redoing my house for a few days and come here to find I have been made Queen of the Boobin', ROCK.
Ok first, yeah my site is totally not work safe, especially when people keep sending me naked photos of themselves with requests to post them, and when people like Torrie demand to see my ass. That is why I have a disclaimer in the corner, but you have to be on my site to see that hahahahaha. Oops?
Second, everyone knows your boobs get bigger from either, playing with them all the time, constant masturbation, or having sex dreams about me. Now, which one is it?
Third, If I am the boob queen then I think that only I can really be the judge of if they are bigger or not, so come on over to my place and Ill give you a really good measuring and then well see about your claims of more boobage.
And finally, yes the fact that my name is JessicaRabbit and that my site is called ReformedStrippersAnon. should be a tip off that I am, not a nice girl. heh.
Bente, if I were pregnant with John Stamos' love child, it would be a VERY good thing. ;) Otherwise, while it certainly wouldn't be the end of the world, I'd prefer not to be.
Jess, you're a nice girl, just not a work-safe one. :) And your Queen of Boobs argument has got to be the BEST one I've heard yet for why I should show you mine. And truly, I think my girls would be very content in your hands. ;)
As always, I need photographic evidence.
You and your photographic evidence, John Boy! Hey Nilbo, if you're reading this, forward John Boy Toy the email, wouldja? ;)
Nooo .. it'ssss miiine ... myyy preciousssssss ....
Oh my. Boobs bigger. Maybe a sign of pregnancy. Maybe not. Mine get so very sore it hurts to wear a bra. It hurts to shower. Dont even think about touching them. That, and constantly vomiting are my clues. I know before I'm even 'late'. So, do they hurt?
And, I copied and pasted this...but doing my part.
Won't be long now and you'll be number one for John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos John Stamos!