his parents offered us their camper and we were like HELL NO, we're just going to stay at your house
kelly | 26 June 2005 - 5:33pm
Friday evening Rob and I went on vacation. We went on vacation to Rob's parents' house, which is in a town very near where we live. They were away for the weekend and their house has the three modern conveniences our house doesn't: cable tv, high-speed internet, and A/C (because ours?...yeah, still broken). Oh, and pizza delivery!
I just heard the gasps. I KNOW. How the hell can two twenty-somethings live in this world without high-speed internet? Heck, how can anyone live in this world without high-speed internet? Dial-up is the devil's spawn. WE KNOW, people, believe me. WE KNOW.
When we first got married, Rob and I rented a little log cabin in what can only be described as THE BOONDOCKS. We lived on a gravel road which was not state or county maintained, but we had cable tv and high speed internet. I know, right?
Then we moved to our current house, which is a mile from a shopping center, a huge housing development, and tons of apartments. And we CANNOT HAVE CABLE. Well, that's not true. We could have cable installed for $21,000. $21,000!!! You see, that's how much it costs for the cable company to run their stupid little cable one mile. Because you see, the cable currently ends one mile away, at the aforementioned shopping center, huge housing development, and tons of apartments. Lucky bastards.
And so we get our television via antenna. All that comes in are the four major networks, which are always fuzzy and not always in color (and if it's raining, nonexistent). And we get our internet via dial-up. (We can't get DSL here either. In fact, our area is last on the list of the DSL company. Nice.) We discussed satellite, but we'd still have to get the networks via our antenna, and that's pretty much all I watch so it seems pointless to pay for satellite and still be forced to watch the networks in fuzzy black and white. And internet access via satellite is fucking expensive and not terribly reliable, plus I told Rob that if I had to sacrifice the thing I love most (tv) then he had to sacrifice the thing he loves most (internet). And so we live in The House Without Cable, our connection to the external world via antenna and modem. I've already started referring to the period of our marriage in which we lived in this house as The Dark Ages.
(Oh, and I have no idea why no one delivers pizza to our house - the pizza places must be owned by the cable company or something.)
So perhaps you can understand why I looked forward to this vacation ALL DAY on Friday. To be able to access a million trillion channels, all of them SO CLEAR IT IS LIKE THOSE PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM and to download video from the internet SUPER FAST, just for the hell of it and to have pizza brought to your front door, all the while sitting in a cool, climate controlled setting is ABSOLUTE BLISS. That, my friends, is living royally.
We spent Friday evening with the A/C cranked up (or down?...whichever means COLD) and I flipped through the channels over and over and over again, in awe of the choices. And we downloaded tons of movie trailers, some of movies we have no intention of ever seeing, just because we could. And since we were feeling especially like spoiling ourselves, we guzzled soda with our pizza. A lot of it. As in a 2-liter. GUZZLED it.
I had a really great time and I hope we can do it again very soon.
- 716 reads
all comments photoblog
$21 000!? That is so wrong. I also only get a few channels, but I'm ok with it cause pretty much everything I want to watch is on them anyway. How long do you guys plan on living where you are now?
I love "house-sitting"! It really is like a little mini-vacation. :D
I hope you can do it again soon, too. House-sitting is a great vacation. I have only had *any* internet access for about 2 years. I never had any desire for it before. Never had cable or wanted it until LG was a toddler, and the peer pressure from the other little Barney-lovers in her playgroup made me think she'd be hopelessly left behind without a purple dinosaur in her life.
You and Rob will remember these as "the salad days." "Raising Arizona" reference; one of my favorite movies.
Holy mother of crap! I had no idea you guys were roughing it in the backwoods. You are welcome to my A/C, digital cable, and cable modem anytime. Although, it will probably cost you $21,000 to get here, $20,000 spent just to get out of that "wilderness area that may as well be the moon" you refer to as Redneck Valley.
Props to Rob's parents for embracing the 21st century. I can't believe you left the kitties with no A/C or pizza delivery. Fo shame. Burrrp! You done with that two liter?
What a nice little mini-vacation.
"Raising Arizona" is one of my all-time favorites, too, Susie.
I am totally the same way about going to my parents' with regard to cable TV. We choose not to get it, though we could, but secretly I REALLY WANT IT. But I know I would either watch way more TV than I need to, or would decide since I'm watching too much TV, I should cut back, making cable not worth the money. Someday (maybe when the kids are grown and we're retired). But at my parents' house, I'm all "Food Network! TLC! Comedy Central! ***MTV***!!! (though MTV is so strange nowadays...like the song "1985" alludes to, remember when they still played MUSIC on MTV?? What a novel idea...)
I moved out to the country a few years ago and ran into the same thing - you could see where the cable ended, about a mile short of my home. I'd call, and get "some day we'll come further out - but we can't, because the electric company hasn't put up the proper support wires on all the poles" ... but that was it. And I nearly went crazy having to go back to frigging dial-up. It was like someone saying "OK, you can breathe, in ... oh, a minute or two."
Then we caught a kind of odd break. Electric utility crews were working on a transformer outside our house, there was a shower of sparks ... and suddenly one of the crew was flopping around on the ground. My wife - who's a medical professional - rushed out and gave him first aid, called the ambulance (he came through just fine) and fed the crew the cookies I'd baked earlier that day.
We got a big thank you basket from the utility, and when the crew truck was delivering it, I happened to be home. I said something smart-ass (I know, you're astonished) about wishing it had been someone from the damn cable company, because yaddayadda cable company sob story.
Buddy the electric guy points at an overhead wire and says "They're feeding you bullshit. That support wire has been there for six months. They just don't think there are enough customers out here to make it worth their while."
So, the next day I call the cable company, girlie launches into the "this is the electric company's fault" story, and I stop her cold. I get passed to the chielf technical guy, he tries to feed me the same line, I take him out at the knees with "Come on out, I'll point at the damn support for you if your crews can't recognize it."
Finally, they gave up and I got cable a week later. Ahhhh. And now I can harrass people and hijack blog comments at the speed of light.
You poor, poor girl.
Although, I bet you're a lot more productive than me.
Did you watch any Full House reruns?
All the more reason to come and visit Alaska, girlfriend. We have it all here.
Over the weekend, I jokingly suggested to my hubby that we cancel the cable to save some moolah, and that we would get a lot more done as well. From the look he gave me, you would think I suggested that we go out and run over some kittens just for fun. Of course, we would never cancel it, because the cable internet would go right along with it.
PS--I'm very sorry for all the times I post lots of pictures. I'm sure it is like torture waiting for that on dialup. :(
my most favorite part of this post? "I had a really great time and I hope we can do it again very soon." it's just super sweet to hear about your fun times together, like pals, friends, best buddies. it must be neat to have that closeness with your hubby. ya'll are so darned cute.
(i have dialup too. by choice. to save money because i'm never really on in the evenings. and it. is. so. slooowww.)
Ah, the simple pleasures of the Modern Age. My life is the opposite. My parents live in an area in California that actually also has no cable, high-speed internet or pizza delivery (but they do have A/C). It does feel like going back to the Dark Ages! But if I want to get away from the fast place of my technological world, which is not often, they do offer a refuge.
Probably at least another 5 years, Bente. Surely within the next few the cable will come our way. No actually, considering how the universe is against me, it will probably come through the day we leave in a moving van.
It is, Amanda. A mini-vacation with a stocked fridge!
Wow, only for 2 years, Susie? (Pardon me while I look at you as if you are a museum relic. Which, of course, you're not.) :) Rob and I had high-speed internet throughout four years of college plus our time in the boondocks cabin, so going back to dial-up was an extreme shock.
I wanted to bring the cats, actually, ice tea. (The permutations have begun and I am allowed to use a letter more than once.) Rob wouldn't let me, though. And it would be worth the $20,000 if I got A/C, cable, internet AND got to meet you!! :)
Okay, looks like I'm going to be renting "Raising Arizona" now that LadyBug has seconded the nomination.
Exactly, Andrea. I tell myself that paying for satellite tv wouldn't be worth the expense, but the truth is I know that my tv addiction would grow tenfold. And that would be a very bad thing. (But I still want it.)
So Nilbo, what you're saying is that I should electrocute a utility worker, call 911 and bake him some cookies, and then MAYBE I might have a chance at getting cable? Heck, why not? Sounds like a good plan to me. In our case, the cable people have been honest enough to admit that there aren't enough customers in our area to make it worth their while. It's difficult to argue that considering our neighbors are cows.
I had every intention of watching Full House, Torrie! But believe it or not, the pizza-inhaling and soda-chugging distracted me and when I finally said "OOOH!! I wanted to watch Full House!" it was already off. Major bummer. (But fortunately I taped almost every episode onto VHS as a kid.)
I may have to take you up on it, mrtl!
I know that look, Ern. It was the look Rob and I gave each other when we realized that our house, the one we had JUST closed on, couldn't have cable. It was utter disbelief. Followed by a few tears, I believe. And don't apologize for your photos - they are lovely and worth the wait!
Aww, you're sweet, Raz. I would recommend to anyone that they marry someone with whom they are best friends. I know I wouldn't have it any other way.
Next time you're looking for a retreat, come visit me, John Boy! We've got the no-amenities atmosphere you're looking for! ;)