elitists unite
kelly | 7 June 2005 - 8:36am
If you don't have anything nice to say, come and sit by me.
This is one of my dearest friends. I'll call her Sydney because I consider her my Sydney Bristow. (She claims she's not a secret service agent but she SO is. Or if she's not, she should be. But she SO is.)
Sydney and I met in college. What immediately drew me in was her bitch factor. I'd always been the kind of person who tried to stave off my inner bitch, and I was impressed that Sydney wore bitchiness so well. Don't get me wrong, she is the greatest person you'll ever meet, if she likes you. But if you don't measure up, do yourself a favor and get out of her way.
Sydney is queen of the retort. She's incredibly witty, the type of person who would be an immediate blogstar. With a single look, a subtle raise of the eyebrows, she can say anything. ANYTHING. She once told me that she likes to try out accents on strangers, just to see if she can pull it off. Of course she can - she's Sydney Bristow.
What I admire most about Sydney is that she's one of the only people I know who has her shit together even more than I do. And what I love most about her is that every now and then she'll slip up, reminding me that she's not flawless, that sometimes even she is capable of dropping a cracker down the front of her dress.
I met her man for the first time this weekend. Never have I liked a man as quickly as I liked B. You know the "connection" those lame-ass people on The Bachelor talk about? Yeah, we had that, B and I. Not a Golly I hope he pins a rose to my breast connection, but a I would have a fucking blast vacationing with him connection. (That's how I measure my male friendships. And few make the cut, I'll have you know.) B is able to make fun of himself as much as he makes fun of other people. And you know what that kind of confidence says about his....character. The dude's worthy, he is.
Sydney, thanks for being cool and confident enough to say all the mean things I'm thinking. To be an elitist with you is the highest of honors.
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Hola' Chica! That was a great tribute to a friend. This is something I'm trying to come up with for my friend who just turned 60 in Vegas last weekend. I now have a better idea how to do it. Thanks kitten. XO
Glad I could help, greenie. Did you see that this week's tagline (thought up by Ern) is a tribute to you? You may have to clear your browser's cache to see it...
You are just so freakin' cute.
That is all.
Forget the sweet nothings insipid males have whispered to me during my tenure as an elitist - this is by far, hands down, the most satisfying of compliments. I have to admit, I'm horribly jealous of your blogging abilities. Luckily, this is countered by the fact that I think you're fabulous - hugs!
Greenie LOVES his kittens too. You two are the bestest for this homo heart.
Who is the HOTTIE on the right in the brown?!
Okay, now the bad news. Last week I mailed out three ONE wristbands. One to New York, one to California, and one to "Redneck Valley". Each was mailed in an envelope with one first class .37 stamp. The recipients in NY and CA are now wearing these wristbands. But, Redneck Valley decided to send your wristband back to me with a note saying they want an additional .12. I guess you even have to give the postman a little extra something to venture into your part of the woods. I slapped another stamp on it and sent it right back out, but sadly it will not be there in time for SPD this week :( So sorry.
Aww, thanks, LadyBug. ;)
Hi Syd!
XOX, greenie.
John Boy, there you go making me blush again. And DAMMIT about the wristband. I'm not surprised, though - mail comes into town on a conestoga about once a month. That extra 12 cents will go toward feeding the oxen.
(Geez, why didn't they just deliver it and ask me to pay the 12 cents? Thanks for your efforts - you really luv me, don't you?)
You are a hottie.
What did you think of Me Talk Prett One Day? I loved it.
I'm reading Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim right now. I'm digging it.
I dig me some David Sedaris.
Torrie, Me Talk Pretty One Day was recommended to me by Sydney, actually. She's a David Sedaris fan as well. Click on the title under "been reading" to read my quick take on it. I do believe you're mentioned there as well.... :)
Wait! Correction! The SPD: ONE Campaign is the first week of July not June, so July 7. The wristband should arrive in plenty of time :) Sorry, I guess I've had a lot on my mind. lol
Oh My God! You mentioned me on your blog???
I'M FAMOUS! I'M FAMOUS!
I mean John Stamos reads this blog for god's sake!
Oooh, you're right, John Boy! You're right!! Yippeee! Here'a a *big hug* for you, not only for sending me the wristband (twice) but also just in general. You're a good guy who deserves a hug.
Torrie, my blog may be read by John Stamos, but your blog has frickin' tshirts designed after it. That's pretty damn cool.
I have nothing witty to say...just that you are SO DAMN CUTE! Look at you all cute and stuff.
You guys are so cute. It's just ridiculous! :D
I must agree with the others, you've got a whole lotta cuteness going on!
You're such a slut. Here you are, talking about how wonderful this friend Sydney is, and how you JUST MET her man, but now you want to go on vacation with him.
What would John Stamos think?
Oh, and IMHO, I'm not thinking Sydney could be too cut out for the secret agent work, considering she didn't see that. (No offense, Sydney - you are really cute and I'm sure you're super bitchy and foreign-sounding. I'll get out of your way, though, especially since you look mighty tall. Is Alaska far enough?)
I hate how beautiful you guys are. And tall. She's probably tall, isn't she? ISN'T SHE?! Like you. Stupid, tall, beautiful freakers.
(Okay, because you can't hear the tone of my voice, or see my expression, this being the internet and all... that was Fake Bitter and Fake Hate. Luv you big lots!)