I stuffed my bra with tissues today...because I'm bleeding
kelly | 3 June 2005 - 1:14pm
Lesson learned: When naked (because you just stepped out of the shower or whatever), do not cuddle to your bosom a cat who is clinging to a mouse toy. Because when said cat drops said toy to the floor, he will leap for it, using said bosom as a springboard, and his back claws will tear your nipple off.
Ouch.
(Google is going to make me regret using the word nipple, I just know it.)
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Ooops, you posted this to your blog. I think you meant to send it to PostSecret!
Oooh michael, I love PostSecret! But what are you trying to say...TMI? :)
:) Not so much if you read the whole post. But the headline belongs on a postcard.
Ouch. Just ouch. I hope your nipple heals soon. And that both nipples on your pert, upthrust, heaving breasts are once again whole. Oh, and as long as we're catering to Googlers ... John Stamos!
Heeheeheehee.
Nilbo, how naughty of you. (Oh great, now I've added naughty to the mix...)
Maybe John Stamos will kiss it and make it better.
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
But would she like having John Stamos kiss - or perhaps even lick - her pert, upthrust, steaming heaving cleavage of bosom nipples? Probably, as long as there was no BONDAGE or BDSM involved.
Heeheehee Google baiting is fun.
kelly, this just screams to be a postcard. so I made you one. Just print it out and send it. :)
Oooh Torrie, now there's a thought!
Amanda B, yeah, sucked.
Nilbo, I'm gonna kick your ass! (Dammit, now I said ass.)
OMG michael, I LOVE IT! I really am going to print it out and send it in, too. SWEET.
You could name said kitty John Stamos, and you could have had your nipple amputated by John Stamos. John Stamos amputated Kelly's nipple!
OUCH! A similar thing has happened with my cat but I was wearing a shirt. His back paw scratched down through the neck of the shirt as he jumped over my shoulder. He missed the nipple, though, thank goodness.
Hope yours are back in John Stamos baiting shape in no time!
Amanda B. said what I was going to say (ow ow ow ow, etc.)
Look at it this way...if you ever breastfeed a baby, you will already have some idea of the pain that you may experience the first week or so...or not?
And I think you need not worry about using the word "ass"; Nilbo's comment made it sort of redundant anyway, heehee...
Now, if you *really* wanted to do some google-baiting, you'd work the word pussy in there somewhere.
Hehe.
I shall send your nipple flowers for its recent departure.
Mike's got some mad postcard skillz. Send that puppy in!
Andrea, I thought the same thing. Of course, after I found the nipple shield, the pain went away.
Hmmm, perhaps if you had used a nipple shield, K, you would've avoided this whole bloody situation. I really do feel for you. Just imagine if you left Wal-Mart without that plunger. After the cat maimed you, you could have inadvertently fallen or stepped into the cesspool of sheeyot in your toilet. How sad that you "DUMP SO MUCH SHIT THAT YOUR TOILET CAN'T HANDLE IT." I think that there's a support group for that.
I think he left out the option of saying "erect nipples". I think this will get a wider variety of googlers. Doing what I can to help you and John Stamos.
As soon as Google catches up, I am SO going to be the #1 result for John Stamos loves nipples.
Ha, Andrea, you make a good point!
As for the rest of you, I KNEW you weren't mature enough to handle this post! ;)
Does your cat not shed?? What in tarnation were you thinking, clutching a hairy pussy to your wet and heaving bosom? It's not just about granting access of his hairy paws to your erect nipples, but a matter of turning yourself into a huge furburger.
Ah yes, I can always count on mrtl to bring the pussy and furburger. Thanks for that, hon. No, really.
I am so disappointed in myself for not remembering your now-moistened pussy, no doubt glistening wet from being nestled in between your voluptuous (hey, some of them are literate!) love pillows ... I really need to read more Penthouse Forum. I am so out of practice.
"I'm a college student in the mid-west, and I never thought this would happen to me, but one day ..."
12 cats, I understand your pain. Really I do.
Try having pierced nipples and someone deciding in your sleep that they look like they might taste good. CHOMP.
I feel your pain. Heal fast, I need to play tune in tokyo with someone STAT.
John Stamos.
I got a puppy today.
Didnt name her John Stamos, but shes pretty freaking cute.
Bi!
Just... hee.
I giggled at your post. I snorted and chuckled at the comments. I almost choked at michael's postcard.
Man, I love this internet community.