Our senior year in high school, Doreen (who, in case you're new here, is my best friend forever) got up the nerve to ask out a guy she'd been eyeing. Not surprisingly, because Doreen is quite the catch, the dude agreed. The plan was for Doreen and Dude to go on a double-date with another of our close girlfriends (J) and J's boyfriend that Friday night.

At the time, my closest circle of girlfriends consisted of me, Doreen, J, and RN. RN and I were not going on the date because RN wasn't dating anyone and Rob was off at college. We were a bit jealous that J would be there to witness Doreen and Dude's first date and RN and I would only get to hear about it. We joked with Doreen that we were going to follow along discreetly and spy on them.

We were, of course, joking. But the more we joked about it, the more it seemed like a great idea. By the time Friday rolled around, RN and I had secretly formed an elaborate plan of espionage. Our primary goal was to act like complete fools, with a secondary goal of being privy to the date.

Friday evening we arrived at the date location, a coffeehouse, half an hour before Doreen, Dude, J, and J's boyfriend were to arrive. We were each wearing a trenchcoat, hat, and sunglasses. We situated ourselves at a table next to a glass-cube wall. We had most of the coffeehouse in view, and also had the wall (and newspapers we brought along) to hide behind. We looked RIDICULOUS and VERY CONSPICUOUS which was exactly what we wanted. I have no idea why the coffeehouse people let us stay. I guess coffeehouse people are laid-back like that. Still, we drew lots of attention and received many questions and comments, which we completely ignored because (duh) WE WERE UNDERCOVER.

(This photo was taken by another friend who happened to be at the coffeehouse. We "PPSSSST!"ed at her until she finally approached us VERY CAUTIOUSLY. After we revealed who we were, and after she gave us a What the fuck are you two thinking? look, she agreed to take our picture, which ended up in the school yearbook. I'm on the right.)

When the double-daters arrived, they sat at the closest table on the other side of the glass-cube wall, which was perfect. We could hear most of what they were saying and when we peered around our newspapers we could see them through the glass-cube wall.

I don't remember how long we stayed, but it felt like forever because the entire time we were trying not to laugh uncontrollably. Whenever we'd start to lose it, we'd bury our faces in the newspapers, which rattled as we shook with laughter. We finally decided to leave before we completely lost control of ourselves, so we slowly folded our newspapers, stood up, and silently sauntered past them, stopping at their table long enough to snap a picture of them. (I have that photo, too. Doreen's expression is priceless. But I won't post it because Doreen works out and could definitely kick my ass.) Then we giggled and skedaddled our way out of there, collapsing in laughter on the sidewalk outside.

Ever since then, I always think of RN as my Ethel.