there is a god and its name is google
kelly | 11 May 2005 - 12:05pm
Google has now earned itself its very own topic category on this blog. Google, I worship thee. Amen.
Okay, so as if being among the Top Five Google Search Results for cute haircut AND being the NUMBER ONE search result for cute haircut with highlights isn't way cool enough....GET THIS.
Yours truly is now known and proclaimed by Google to possess the following:
long sexy legs
rock-hard abs
buns of steel
Search for all three at once or any combination of two and damned if I'm not whatcha get. (Again, I must remind you that if for some reason those are not the search results you receive, the geek-genius says it's because of the Google server you're randomly assigned, which basically means Google likes to fuck with us every so often to prevent me from getting conceited. TOO LATE!)
I was planning to go running today but since clearly I'm already in such great shape, screw that. This girl's going shopping.
In related news, I am also the number one search result for John Stamos loves Kelly. Google doesn't lie, y'all. (Mrtl, perhaps the John Stamos campaign is working after all!!)
Uh-oh. It seems I am also a first-page search result for biggest pregnant belly. Well, now Google is just spreading rumors...
Hmm, maybe I should pick up a pregnancy test just to be sure.
- 528 reads
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GASP!!! grrrl, don't you tease us like that! if there's a mini-klog bakin' in the oven, you best not be hidin' that from your online family!
If there is, Raz, it's news to me. But then I'm not omniscient like Google...
Yo Google, there are enough pregnancy rumors swirling around the blogosphere as it is. Leave me out of this!
Congratulations! You're pregnant? I'm so happy for you! Can't wait to see your big beautiful belly!
Rumor mill's a bitch, isn't it? Happy May Mother Fool's Day!
Yeah, I pretty much had that coming. Because of this.
So here's the scoop, everyone. Robyn and I are both pregnant. (And maybe mrtl - stay tuned.) We're both having little girls who will, of course, grow up to be pole dancers. Or goat farmers. Or - what the heck - pole-dancing goat farmers.
You heard it here first. (And now, Robyn, I truly have jinxed us both.)
Oh yes, I have not forgotten. >:D
I can't wait until I send my little girl off to pole school. I will have to tell her to stay away from phallic things that rhyme with slick. And they're sheep, Ksta, sheep!
Seasonale will keep me safe. Believe me, when you're ready to have kids, we'll be waiting with anxious abandon for every little morsel of detail.
Oops. Sheep. I swear I know the difference, in person. I just wasn't sure which it was on the video. (Links provided for anyone who has no frickin' clue what we're talking about.) Now that I'm looking again, though - yep, pretty obviously a sheep.
I once saw a sheep give birth. I don't know why I'm sharing that, but it seems relevant somehow.
Does Google have any photos to back up these claims?
long sexy legs
rock-hard abs
buns of steel
Sorry, I just need to see more evidence. It's the academic in me.
Ha, John Boy! You're goood.
(Sorry, you've got me all flustered and so I can't come up with anything clever to say.)
you guys are making me pregnant with all this talk, and we don't want any of those rumors going around. after all, i did have those strange, um, relations with mr. stamos in my dreams just the other night. i think i'd be in a whole lotta trouble if i were!
...and i'm a pole-dancing sheep farmer myself. what of it?! ;)
Raz, you'd best NOT be pregnant with Mr. Stamos' love child.
And hey Robyn, I think I found someone who can train our daughters!
:)
Great! I was so WORRIED! When can they start? I'll have to make sure I stock up on Victoria's Secret lotion, boob tassles, leather bras, and stilettos.
worry not, mommies. i have enough in my stash for everyone. you two included. it'll be one big boob-twirlin' party.
Y'all are TOO MUCH. I love you both!
Kelly, you're a hoot! I'm so glad I came here first, since I'll probably stop now and go to bed.
Wouldn't you know that my brother and father have taught Bug how to pole dance on the columns on my parents' front porch? It makes her so happy it scares me. I'm almost afraid of blogging it for fear of mister mrtl's reaction.