idiocy for your life
kelly | 11 April 2005 - 12:21pm
Could somebody please give John Tesh a lesson in interpreting survey data? Because every time I flip through the stations and it lands on him, and I linger just a moment for his words of wisdom, I end up AAARGHing. Everytime, without a doubt, a big fat AAARRRGGGH. And that distracts me from my driving, and that is bad.
A few days ago he said, "Want to get a raise? Consider putting a candy dish on your desk." He went on to explain that in a study done by Lifesavers (which is a red flag right there, but I won't even go there right now), people who had candy dishes on their desks at work were more likely to get a raise than people who didn't.
AAAARGGGH.
And he says stuff like this all the time. He must have skipped the class in which everyone learned that "correlation is not causation." I'm pretty sure my professor made us repeat it 50 times. All together now: Correlation is not causation. Correlation is not causation. Correlation? Yep, still not causation.
Yo Tesh, the placing of the candy dish on the desk is not necessarily the direct cause for the raise. Sure, it's correlated. It's possible that the boss wanders over on a daily basis, partakes of the candy, chats with the employee, and as a result of getting to know this employee and his/her great work, a raise ensues. Even so, the candy dish alone didn't get the person the raise. And entirely more likely is that the candy dish is a mere manifestation of other traits this person possesses which makes him/her a worthy candidate for a raise. Like great interpersonal skills. Or going the extra mile. Or perceiving needs and taking the initiative to fill them. Or sucking up in general. Or knowing the fucking difference between correlation and causation, maybe?
Now, all these "Intelligence For Your Life" listeners are going to plop candy dishes on their desks and wait expectantly for a raise. And they're not going to get raises, because they do shitty work. And if they do get raises, it's because they don't do shitty work, NOT BECAUSE OF THE GODDAMN CANDY DISH.
Correlation is not causation. That's all I'm saying.
- 707 reads
all comments photoblog
I hate John Tesh.
That is all.
Oh, except for this: Have you heard? Correlation is not causation.
Go, LadyBug, and spread the word.
wait...i'm not clear... is correlation causation? are they correlated in any way? is one caused by the other? have i interrelatedly caused confusion?
;-)
Ha! He'll never get it, will he? :)
A recent study done by klog revealed that a man named John Tesh is the dumbest person on earth. So parents, if you want your children to succeed in school, don't name them John Tesh.
I have a secret about how I get my boss to give me raises. I come in late and go home early. Oh, and I create wonderful tools that save him time and get projects done on time. It's amazing, isn't it? I do have a candy dish on my desk, but only the losers stop by to clean it out. My boss is a health nut so he bypasses the candy, but he will stop to use some of my peach lotion. Odd, odd, odd. John Tesh is an idiot. It's the lotion, man, the lotion!
I just want to clarify that Rob Slob is not Geek-genius husband Rob. My Rob doesn't use peach lotion, that I know of. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Robyn Slobyn, you've got it all figured out, girl. And I feel certain that when Bath and Body Works sponsors the "research," the results will prove you correct.
I see that you've read The Awakening. I suggest you read The Diviners by Margaret Laurence.
YES! I also hate how people constantly refer to coincidences as irony.
Elise - Thanks for dropping by and leaving a recommendation! I just happen to be heading to the library this week...
mrtl - No way! I hate that, too. How ironic!
Oops, I didn't even think about that. I've been called Rob Slob since high school even though I'm not what you would call a slob. I am a geek though but not so much a genius, so I'm definitely not Rob.
My BF (best, not boy) calls me Robyn Slobyn, so I thought that was pretty funny. I had to read over it again...hold on, this isn't Julie! I know, still asleep. Forgive...me...zzzzz.